Spiders.....

I am not afraid of spiders.  I can't say that I really care for them at all though either.  I say, as long as they stay out of my things and away from me, the two of us can get along just fine.  Just a few weeks ago, I had a fairly unpleasant experience with a particularly ambitious spider.

So a few weeks back, I woke up around the same usual time, and went to do the same thing I usually do when I first roll out of bed.  Piss.  Now, I'm sure that any guy can appreciate this next Q&A.

One of two things happens every time I wake up and head into the bathroom.  I realize that only #1 is sending alerts, and then proceed to lift toilet seat and stand there while I release the Kraken.

The other possibility is that you realize #1 and #2 are staking claims, and then take a seat to relieve both at the same time. 

Now, as fate would have it on this cold and semi-dark morning, only #1 was required, so I lifted the seat, and then proceeded to engage.  Not a second after I had a full stream going, I noticed with sleepy crusty eyes a spider the size of a quarter drop down directly in front of my face.  It bungee'd right on down and landed right on the top underside of the upturned toilet seat.  If I had sat down for that particular mornings ritual, that bloody spider would have been right on my head, and possibly even my lap. 

My suspicion is that this spider had waited all night long for my return, and it was fate that kept us apart on that fine morning. 

James 1......Spiders 0.

It was a close call, but I have to admit that now, I find myself looking up at the ceiling every time I am about to take care of business in the bathroom.