I've fallen a little behind with my posts, as it's been a pretty busy week. Lots of pics have been uploaded to Facebook, but that's about as far as I've made it. On Wednesday of this week, I went to work, and then had the opportunity to go to a Hurling game. I had heard of Hurling before, but knew nothing more about it. Apparently it is the National sport of Ireland, and was founded here. It is also considered one of the fastest sports in the world. Very cool stuff. A lot more intense and involved than I thought it would be. Really enjoyed the event, and all of the cursing too! ha ha ha! People here are so passionate about their sports, it is pretty amazing. And they all say the "F" word quite a bit. It's quite entertaining actually. My favorite quote of the day by an older gentleman somewhere in his late 60's to 70's, "F$%K ball!........F*$K!!!!" A big thank you to Niall Fahy for dragging us out to the game!
On Thursday, after another exhilarating day at work, we had the pleasure of going "Karting", otherwise known as "Go-Carting" in the States. This event was sponsored by VMware, and we had about 40+ people show up to compete. It was the real deal. We all got dressed up in full head to toe rain gear, including helmets and hair nets. The course was the biggest Karting course I've ever seen, and the Karts were VERY fast. Upwards of 60 KPH, or about 30-40 MPH. This is fast when you're sitting in a little Kart flying through the course with only partial visibility due to the rain and wind. It was wet. It was cold. It was a ton of fun! We made it back to our hotel just after 11pm, but were still able to order some Pizza and get it delivered.
Friday made for an especially long day at work. I was pretty tired from the lack of sleep the night before, and had to fight to keep my eyes open. One major difference between the office here, and my office back home, is the break rooms. The break room back at home is filled with cereal, candy bars, chips, soda, juice, and other random snacks. The break room here in Ireland is filled with a variety of delicious breads and jams, healthy cereals, juice, coffee, and tea. No sode or junk food really. It's kind of nice actually. After work, Nate and I met up with one of the lads from work named Regis, and his girlfriend Juliette. They are both French, and are quite nice. We headed out to Kinsale, a local town right on the coast, and had dinner and a pint. All of us but Nate did, that is. After dinner, we headed out for a short drive to the "Old Head Golf Course", which apparently is a world famous golf location. It is set right next to the cliffs, with amazing 360 degree views of the ocean. We took a few photos and got some cool video as well, although it was very windy. Next, we headed back to Cork, and dropped off our car at the hotel, and headed back for a walk downtown for more drinks. We ended up at a local cocktail bar called "The Long Island" and had a few more drinks. Again, it was quite nice, and the scenery was even better :) Regis, Juliette, and I enjoyed a few more drinks, while Nate enjoyed a nice lemonade. We finished up around midnight again, and called it a night. To be honest, I was pretty tired and needed some good solid sleep.
Saturday has been a pretty relaxing day so far. I was able to sleep in and then just relaxed in my hotel room until about 3pm. I slept solid until about 11am too, which was by far the latest I've slept in for quite some time. After ordering some room service for breakfast / lunch, I met up with Nate and we headed downtown to catch a movie. I had noticed a smaller Cinema in the downtown area earlier this week while I was out and about, and could not wait any longer to see Prometheus. I have definitely been nerding out about this movie since I saw the first preview. It was not a disappointment either. Very cool movie! After the movie, we headed to a different part of the downtown area, which is more of a shopping district I would compare to The Gateway mall up in SLC. It was very nice, and full of all sorts of surprises around every corner. We found a cool little souvenir shop, and picked up a few things, then headed back to the hotel again. It is currently about 9pm, and Nate is done for the night, but I think I may be heading back out and flying solo again this evening. Another one of the lads here named David Daly may catch up with me later for a pint or three, and then we'll see what kind of trouble I can get into.
The plan tomorrow is to relax for the first part of the morning again, and then we are going "Mountain Biking", although it is more in the forrest from what I understand. It should still be super fun, and a number of the lads here will be joining us as well. I believe Damien O'Halloran, David Daly, Niall Fahy, and Brian Honohan will all be there. Good times :) After biking, we are going to try to head to a local pub somewhere and catch the Ireland vs. Croatia game for the Euro 2012. I hear things get pretty crazy over here for the games...
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Day 4 in Ireland...
Today started off a bit rough. I fell asleep last night close to 9pm and then woke up around 1am. Completely wide awake too. After trying unsuccessfully for awhile to fall back asleep, I just uploaded the new pics from my phone, and then added a new blog post about the days activities. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to fall back asleep until sometime after 5am, then was up again at 7am. Great way to start my first day in the Cork office. Completely exhausted!
Surprisingly enough, the day actually went fairly quickly. It was great to meet some more members of the Mozy team, and finally put some faces to names. Everyone was very nice of course, and after getting settled in, I went to work. it was definitely a slower day, and was raining for the better part of the day as well. But that isn't too unusual here, since apparently it rains more often than not. It's a little strange hearing so many different languages being spoken around you all the time here! I've heard Gaelic (Irish), French, German, Indian, Italian, Russian, etc.
As it was time to leave work for the day, the sun started to break through the clouds, and it ended up being mostly sunny. Very nice surprise! Nate and I were both pretty tired, but decided to hit the gym when we got back to the hotel. Afterwards, we went for a walk through downtown Cork again and found a nice little authentic Italian restaurant to eat dinner at. And here is where I have to explain something about food.
If you come to Cork for no other reason, come here for the amazing food. It truly is a unique experience. Coming from a guy who doesn't even like or appreciate food, that is saying something. Downtown Cork is quite honestly just a very compact maze of small roads and alleyways, all of which hide countless amazing and authentic restaurants of every kind. Most are very small, and I assume are also family run. The food is usually made from scratch, or caught, or grown locally too. Very unique Mediterranean dishes from multiple cultures, all of which are delicious. This place is seriously a food lovers heaven! The best part is that it is all in walking distance from our hotel here at The River Lee.
Currently, it is 10:48pm, and the sun has not completely set yet. It is the strangest thing, but with a view like this, you can't complain. Best part about today was that I was finally able to FaceTime with Preslie. I think it's time for another relaxing bath and then bed. :)
Surprisingly enough, the day actually went fairly quickly. It was great to meet some more members of the Mozy team, and finally put some faces to names. Everyone was very nice of course, and after getting settled in, I went to work. it was definitely a slower day, and was raining for the better part of the day as well. But that isn't too unusual here, since apparently it rains more often than not. It's a little strange hearing so many different languages being spoken around you all the time here! I've heard Gaelic (Irish), French, German, Indian, Italian, Russian, etc.
As it was time to leave work for the day, the sun started to break through the clouds, and it ended up being mostly sunny. Very nice surprise! Nate and I were both pretty tired, but decided to hit the gym when we got back to the hotel. Afterwards, we went for a walk through downtown Cork again and found a nice little authentic Italian restaurant to eat dinner at. And here is where I have to explain something about food.
If you come to Cork for no other reason, come here for the amazing food. It truly is a unique experience. Coming from a guy who doesn't even like or appreciate food, that is saying something. Downtown Cork is quite honestly just a very compact maze of small roads and alleyways, all of which hide countless amazing and authentic restaurants of every kind. Most are very small, and I assume are also family run. The food is usually made from scratch, or caught, or grown locally too. Very unique Mediterranean dishes from multiple cultures, all of which are delicious. This place is seriously a food lovers heaven! The best part is that it is all in walking distance from our hotel here at The River Lee.
Currently, it is 10:48pm, and the sun has not completely set yet. It is the strangest thing, but with a view like this, you can't complain. Best part about today was that I was finally able to FaceTime with Preslie. I think it's time for another relaxing bath and then bed. :)
Monday, June 4, 2012
Day 3 in Ireland
So let me start off by explaining what I did last night. After dinner, I decided to go out alone and do a little bar hopping. It was the weekend, and the night before a "Bank Holiday". It was nuts! There are literally bars and pubs everywhere. Lots of tiny little alleyways and streets with countless bars and restaurants on them. Most of which are also clubs as well, and there is a college just down the road as well. Total party town. Reminded me of Mardi Gras in New Orleans, just without the crazies and nudity.
One of the things I noticed, was how generally polite everyone here is. Everywhere I go, I hear "Cheers" and "Hello Lads.....Take care Lads..." Even with all the drunk college students, they are all generally trying to just have a good time. No one is out trying to cause trouble, or start fights, or vandalize property or anything like that. I didn't have any reservations about walking around by myself and bar hopping. To be honest, I didn't end up doing that much drinking. I'm not really much of a beer drinker, and every time I tried to order a specific drink, the bartenders didn't have a clue what I was talking about. I had to keep things very basic. "Vodka and Cranberry".
The next thing I noticed was how many absolutely HOT women there are. It seems that nearly all of them wear little mini skirts with tights too. Everywhere you go, attractive women in tights. It's quite distracting actually! That's all I have to say about that for now. :)
After walking around all day earlier, and then walking around for about 3 more hours that night with my bar hopping, my feet were pretty sore. I also went to the gym at the hotel and worked out for 2 hours before we went out to dinner that day as well. Waking up today, I discovered that my shins were pretty sore. It didn't take long to discover that walking was more than a little unpleasant, and there were quite a few hikes involved in checking out The Cliffs of Moher today.
Nate and I decided to take a road trip and drive to the infamous Cliffs of Moher. I had learned that the cliffs were the same cliffs which were called "The Cliffs of Insanity" from the movie The Princess Bride. This was a childhood favorite of mine, and I was always really fascinated by them when I watched the movie, so this was particularly exciting to me. It was about a 2 1/2 hour drive away too. Nate drove, thank heavens, as I was yawning nearly the entire drive. The roads here are much smaller than in the U.S. The roads here are all extremely narrow, and most of the time, you are just on a 2 lane road with opposing traffic coming right at you. You are lucky to have enough room to pass a car coming the opposite direction, as a lot of the roads suddenly turn into 1 lane roads and there is not enough room to pass. This makes for an interesting dilemma.
We eventually made it to The Cliffs of Moher, which was amazing! I cannot even describe how completely amazing it was. I took some pictures with my iPhone, and uploaded those to FB already, but they do not do it justice. I have a bit of a fear of heights, and this definitely made me nervous! After hiking the majority of The Cliffs, we headed back to the visitors center and had lunch, then headed back to Cork. On the way back, we stopped by the Bunratty Castle. This is a fully restored Castle tourist location, which was pretty cool, but unfortunately they were already closed by the time we got there, so we only saw the outside. I bot a bottle of Mead, which is the old school Honey Liquor, also referred to as "Honeymoon Liquor" here. I've seen too many movies about old times and drinking Mead to pass up the opportunity. We also stopped by the "Blarney Woolen Mills" which is a cool little shop where you can buy stuff pretty cheap.
We got back to the River Lee Hotel closer to 7pm, and decided to just order in for dinner. Turns out that they have a Papa Johns here, so we ordered pizza and "garlic cheese bread". After it was delivered, Nate and I went our separate ways to relax. My shins hurt! I ate my dinner, then decided to soak in the bath while watching a movie on my Macbook Pro. Seemed like a pretty sissy idea at first, but was definitely relaxing and nice! Our rooms are pretty nice, and have a nice big tub. Unfortunately, I fell asleep afterwards and then woke up around 1am, and have been wide awake ever since. SOAB.
Tomorrow we are back to work, and I am looking forward to meeting the rest of our team here!
One of the things I noticed, was how generally polite everyone here is. Everywhere I go, I hear "Cheers" and "Hello Lads.....Take care Lads..." Even with all the drunk college students, they are all generally trying to just have a good time. No one is out trying to cause trouble, or start fights, or vandalize property or anything like that. I didn't have any reservations about walking around by myself and bar hopping. To be honest, I didn't end up doing that much drinking. I'm not really much of a beer drinker, and every time I tried to order a specific drink, the bartenders didn't have a clue what I was talking about. I had to keep things very basic. "Vodka and Cranberry".
The next thing I noticed was how many absolutely HOT women there are. It seems that nearly all of them wear little mini skirts with tights too. Everywhere you go, attractive women in tights. It's quite distracting actually! That's all I have to say about that for now. :)
After walking around all day earlier, and then walking around for about 3 more hours that night with my bar hopping, my feet were pretty sore. I also went to the gym at the hotel and worked out for 2 hours before we went out to dinner that day as well. Waking up today, I discovered that my shins were pretty sore. It didn't take long to discover that walking was more than a little unpleasant, and there were quite a few hikes involved in checking out The Cliffs of Moher today.
Nate and I decided to take a road trip and drive to the infamous Cliffs of Moher. I had learned that the cliffs were the same cliffs which were called "The Cliffs of Insanity" from the movie The Princess Bride. This was a childhood favorite of mine, and I was always really fascinated by them when I watched the movie, so this was particularly exciting to me. It was about a 2 1/2 hour drive away too. Nate drove, thank heavens, as I was yawning nearly the entire drive. The roads here are much smaller than in the U.S. The roads here are all extremely narrow, and most of the time, you are just on a 2 lane road with opposing traffic coming right at you. You are lucky to have enough room to pass a car coming the opposite direction, as a lot of the roads suddenly turn into 1 lane roads and there is not enough room to pass. This makes for an interesting dilemma.
We eventually made it to The Cliffs of Moher, which was amazing! I cannot even describe how completely amazing it was. I took some pictures with my iPhone, and uploaded those to FB already, but they do not do it justice. I have a bit of a fear of heights, and this definitely made me nervous! After hiking the majority of The Cliffs, we headed back to the visitors center and had lunch, then headed back to Cork. On the way back, we stopped by the Bunratty Castle. This is a fully restored Castle tourist location, which was pretty cool, but unfortunately they were already closed by the time we got there, so we only saw the outside. I bot a bottle of Mead, which is the old school Honey Liquor, also referred to as "Honeymoon Liquor" here. I've seen too many movies about old times and drinking Mead to pass up the opportunity. We also stopped by the "Blarney Woolen Mills" which is a cool little shop where you can buy stuff pretty cheap.
We got back to the River Lee Hotel closer to 7pm, and decided to just order in for dinner. Turns out that they have a Papa Johns here, so we ordered pizza and "garlic cheese bread". After it was delivered, Nate and I went our separate ways to relax. My shins hurt! I ate my dinner, then decided to soak in the bath while watching a movie on my Macbook Pro. Seemed like a pretty sissy idea at first, but was definitely relaxing and nice! Our rooms are pretty nice, and have a nice big tub. Unfortunately, I fell asleep afterwards and then woke up around 1am, and have been wide awake ever since. SOAB.
Tomorrow we are back to work, and I am looking forward to meeting the rest of our team here!
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Day 1 & 2 of Ireland trip..
Just thought that I'd throw together a quick post about what I've been up to so far.
THE TRIP.
It was long. My butt hurt from all the sitting. I ate some extremely disgusting Mac N Cheese dinner at a restaurant in New York at the J.F.K. Airport. My boss (Nate) and I got re-routed twice while at J.F.K., which was pretty annoying. Apparently our plane was broken, so they sent us to a different Terminal, which was a good walk. Then, about an hour later of being delayed, they sent us back to the original Terminal again because apparently they fixed the first plane faster than they the mechanics thought they could, but had to re-issue all of us our boarding passes, as seating changed because we were now on a different plane. That was fun. Not a huge fan of J.F.K. Our flight from Utah left at 11:40am on Friday, in S.L.C., and we arrived in Shannon, Ireland @ 8:30am on Saturday.
SATURDAY
We were tired. Unfortunately, we still had a good 2 hour drive from Shannon to Cork, where our Hotel was. Nate took the honor of driving that day since I had not yet driven and was a little bit intimidated to say the least. Wrong side of the car, and wrong side of the road too. Everything is backwards, and it takes a little bit of getting used to. We got to the hotel and checked in, and went our separate ways around noon to get some much needed sleep. We agreed to meet up in the lobby at 7pm, and then go find something to eat. We ended up eating at this cool little restaurant that was just a short walk from our hotel called SoHo, which apparently is also a nightclub of sorts. Nate ordered steak that they cook on a volcanic rock that is heated to something like 350 degrees right in front of you, which was pretty cool. I had some delicious nachos, garlic bread, and a delicious Hurricane. Yum. Next, we walked around for a bit around Cork downtown, and then headed back to the hotel at River Lee, and called it a night.
SUNDAY
Met up with Nate in the lobby at 9am, after getting just a couple of hours of broken sleep. We were both still pretty tired. Nate decided that it was my turn to drive, and a trial by fire was the best way. By the time we got back to the Hotel, I think he may be opting to drive for the remainder of the trip though. Ha ha. The brake pedal was very touchy, for me at least, and more than once I almost put us in a ditch because I was too distracted by the scenery to drive in the tiny lanes.
First we went to check out the shops at Kinsale, but ended up just walking around and checking things out since most of them were closed on Sunday morning. We did find an old church, which was actually built by the Normans back in the 1600's. It is entirely possible that I may have been related to them, so I thought that was kind of cool.
Next, we went to check out the Historic Charles Fort site in Kinsale which is right on the coast. Took the tour, and got to explore and walk around the full 16 acres of the site. Very cool stuff. Lots of cool history here. Check out this link for more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Fort_%28Ireland%29
Around lunch time, we drove over to another Historic site, The Blarney Castle, which is home to The Blarney Stone. We spent a number of hours here, as there is much to see. Again, lots of really cool history here, so check out the following link for more info: http://www.blarneycastle.ie/pages/history
I was lucky enough to kiss The Blarney Stone, and receive the gift of Eloquence, as the tradition goes. Check out this link for some brief history on The Blarney Stone: http://www.blarneycastle.ie/pages/kiss-the-blarney-stone
We went to a local deli prior, and got some "picnic" supplies and had lunch in front of The Blarney House, which was amazing. In Ireland, there is grass everywhere. It just grows. It is also very green as well. There is a big variety of trees, some of which I've never seen before. Next, we were on to the amazing gardens of Blarney. There is a whole section dedicated to poisonous plants, which is pretty fascinating. What really struck me as interesting, was all of the Druid history and "Witch" folklore that exists there. I uploaded a bunch of pics from my phone of some of the sights there. By then, it was almost 5pm, so we decided to call it a day, and head back to the hotel again. It's only 8pm now, and then night is still young, so we'll see what kind of trouble I can get into tonight :) For starters, I am hungry....
THE TRIP.
It was long. My butt hurt from all the sitting. I ate some extremely disgusting Mac N Cheese dinner at a restaurant in New York at the J.F.K. Airport. My boss (Nate) and I got re-routed twice while at J.F.K., which was pretty annoying. Apparently our plane was broken, so they sent us to a different Terminal, which was a good walk. Then, about an hour later of being delayed, they sent us back to the original Terminal again because apparently they fixed the first plane faster than they the mechanics thought they could, but had to re-issue all of us our boarding passes, as seating changed because we were now on a different plane. That was fun. Not a huge fan of J.F.K. Our flight from Utah left at 11:40am on Friday, in S.L.C., and we arrived in Shannon, Ireland @ 8:30am on Saturday.
SATURDAY
We were tired. Unfortunately, we still had a good 2 hour drive from Shannon to Cork, where our Hotel was. Nate took the honor of driving that day since I had not yet driven and was a little bit intimidated to say the least. Wrong side of the car, and wrong side of the road too. Everything is backwards, and it takes a little bit of getting used to. We got to the hotel and checked in, and went our separate ways around noon to get some much needed sleep. We agreed to meet up in the lobby at 7pm, and then go find something to eat. We ended up eating at this cool little restaurant that was just a short walk from our hotel called SoHo, which apparently is also a nightclub of sorts. Nate ordered steak that they cook on a volcanic rock that is heated to something like 350 degrees right in front of you, which was pretty cool. I had some delicious nachos, garlic bread, and a delicious Hurricane. Yum. Next, we walked around for a bit around Cork downtown, and then headed back to the hotel at River Lee, and called it a night.
SUNDAY
Met up with Nate in the lobby at 9am, after getting just a couple of hours of broken sleep. We were both still pretty tired. Nate decided that it was my turn to drive, and a trial by fire was the best way. By the time we got back to the Hotel, I think he may be opting to drive for the remainder of the trip though. Ha ha. The brake pedal was very touchy, for me at least, and more than once I almost put us in a ditch because I was too distracted by the scenery to drive in the tiny lanes.
First we went to check out the shops at Kinsale, but ended up just walking around and checking things out since most of them were closed on Sunday morning. We did find an old church, which was actually built by the Normans back in the 1600's. It is entirely possible that I may have been related to them, so I thought that was kind of cool.
Next, we went to check out the Historic Charles Fort site in Kinsale which is right on the coast. Took the tour, and got to explore and walk around the full 16 acres of the site. Very cool stuff. Lots of cool history here. Check out this link for more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Fort_%28Ireland%29
Around lunch time, we drove over to another Historic site, The Blarney Castle, which is home to The Blarney Stone. We spent a number of hours here, as there is much to see. Again, lots of really cool history here, so check out the following link for more info: http://www.blarneycastle.ie/pages/history
I was lucky enough to kiss The Blarney Stone, and receive the gift of Eloquence, as the tradition goes. Check out this link for some brief history on The Blarney Stone: http://www.blarneycastle.ie/pages/kiss-the-blarney-stone
We went to a local deli prior, and got some "picnic" supplies and had lunch in front of The Blarney House, which was amazing. In Ireland, there is grass everywhere. It just grows. It is also very green as well. There is a big variety of trees, some of which I've never seen before. Next, we were on to the amazing gardens of Blarney. There is a whole section dedicated to poisonous plants, which is pretty fascinating. What really struck me as interesting, was all of the Druid history and "Witch" folklore that exists there. I uploaded a bunch of pics from my phone of some of the sights there. By then, it was almost 5pm, so we decided to call it a day, and head back to the hotel again. It's only 8pm now, and then night is still young, so we'll see what kind of trouble I can get into tonight :) For starters, I am hungry....
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Hi.
I am not the man I used to be. I have evolved. I have changed. I have grown. I feel differently about matters I used to be passionate about. I think differently. I feel different. I act different. I am different.
I am not as generous as I used to be. I am more guarded now in matters of love and friendship. I used to crave love, affection, and physical contact from the ones I love. Now, I have found that there are more important connections in a happy relationship. Physical attraction and compatibility is important, but it is definitely not the most important thing to me.
I used to be more consistent with my wants and desires. Now I am fickle. What I want seems to evolve from day to day.
Most of my friends have been my friends for quite some time. Some since High School, some from Junior High, and some from even before that. Regardless of when, they are close friends and I value each and every one of them. They are important to me, and we share experiences that are unique to and significant in my life.
I look different. All through High School, I weighed about 130-140 lbs. During my marriage, I weighed between 150-170 lbs. Now, I weigh about 205 lbs. I'm definitely a bit softer around the middle than I'd like to be, but overall, I much prefer the way I look and feel now as opposed to before.
I am Father. In about a month, I will also be a Grandpa. That is what Kalie keeps telling me anyways. I think it's really more of an honorary position though, sort of like an "Honorary Pallbearer" at a funeral. Odd that I used an analogy about death for that one. Ha.
I love spending time with my Daughter more than anything else on this planet. She is my life, my love, and easily the best thing I've ever done. I would happily fore go any other activity to spend time with her. If I do nothing else right in my life, I want to be the best Father to my children. Perhaps that will be my greatest achievement in life. I am OK with that.
I used to hate being alone. I pretty much always wanted to be in the company of others. Most of the time it was my friends, sometimes it was my family, and sometimes it was my coworkers. I have learned that sometimes I like to be alone. I don't want to be alone all the time, or even most of the time. But there are definitely times when I just want to come home and relax and enjoy some me time. Does that make me selfish? Perhaps. My Daughter is the one person in my life that I can't get enough of. I never feel like I need a break from her.
I am happy. For the first time in my life, I feel genuinely happy. I have learned to appreciate what I do have in my life. I don't own a business, I don't own a house, I don't own a boat, but I am OK with that. I am in a good place in my life, and want to enjoy everything it has to offer.
I would like to find a person that will be my partner in life. Someone who has common interests and goals as me. Someone who at the end of the day still wants to put up with my crap, and accept me for who I am. I want to find someone who makes me want to be a better man. I am OK with that. I know I am not perfect, but I do feel like I have a lot to offer. That said, I am not in a hurry to make this happen either. I truly believe that it will happen when the time is right. I saw a quote today that I really liked, although I do not know who it is from.
Realize that love is nothing action.
Trust is nothing without proof.
Regret is nothing without change.
Despite all of these changes, I am still me. The core of me is still the same. My soul is still the same. My desire to be honest, and a good man have not changed. I don't have everything figured out just yet, but I have a better grasp on life and myself that I did before. If life has a purpose, I would think that it is self-mastery. I'm doing it my way, and I'm OK with that.
I am not as generous as I used to be. I am more guarded now in matters of love and friendship. I used to crave love, affection, and physical contact from the ones I love. Now, I have found that there are more important connections in a happy relationship. Physical attraction and compatibility is important, but it is definitely not the most important thing to me.
I used to be more consistent with my wants and desires. Now I am fickle. What I want seems to evolve from day to day.
Most of my friends have been my friends for quite some time. Some since High School, some from Junior High, and some from even before that. Regardless of when, they are close friends and I value each and every one of them. They are important to me, and we share experiences that are unique to and significant in my life.
I look different. All through High School, I weighed about 130-140 lbs. During my marriage, I weighed between 150-170 lbs. Now, I weigh about 205 lbs. I'm definitely a bit softer around the middle than I'd like to be, but overall, I much prefer the way I look and feel now as opposed to before.
I am Father. In about a month, I will also be a Grandpa. That is what Kalie keeps telling me anyways. I think it's really more of an honorary position though, sort of like an "Honorary Pallbearer" at a funeral. Odd that I used an analogy about death for that one. Ha.
I love spending time with my Daughter more than anything else on this planet. She is my life, my love, and easily the best thing I've ever done. I would happily fore go any other activity to spend time with her. If I do nothing else right in my life, I want to be the best Father to my children. Perhaps that will be my greatest achievement in life. I am OK with that.
I used to hate being alone. I pretty much always wanted to be in the company of others. Most of the time it was my friends, sometimes it was my family, and sometimes it was my coworkers. I have learned that sometimes I like to be alone. I don't want to be alone all the time, or even most of the time. But there are definitely times when I just want to come home and relax and enjoy some me time. Does that make me selfish? Perhaps. My Daughter is the one person in my life that I can't get enough of. I never feel like I need a break from her.
I am happy. For the first time in my life, I feel genuinely happy. I have learned to appreciate what I do have in my life. I don't own a business, I don't own a house, I don't own a boat, but I am OK with that. I am in a good place in my life, and want to enjoy everything it has to offer.
I would like to find a person that will be my partner in life. Someone who has common interests and goals as me. Someone who at the end of the day still wants to put up with my crap, and accept me for who I am. I want to find someone who makes me want to be a better man. I am OK with that. I know I am not perfect, but I do feel like I have a lot to offer. That said, I am not in a hurry to make this happen either. I truly believe that it will happen when the time is right. I saw a quote today that I really liked, although I do not know who it is from.
Realize that love is nothing action.
Trust is nothing without proof.
Regret is nothing without change.
Despite all of these changes, I am still me. The core of me is still the same. My soul is still the same. My desire to be honest, and a good man have not changed. I don't have everything figured out just yet, but I have a better grasp on life and myself that I did before. If life has a purpose, I would think that it is self-mastery. I'm doing it my way, and I'm OK with that.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Relax in the grass.
Today was a truly amazing day. I can't remember the last time I was this happy and genuinely content with my life either. To be entirely honest, I can't say that anything happened that was so out of the ordinary either, but I had a great day nonetheless.
My day started with being woke up as Preslie crawled into my bed with her stuffed bunny. She had a big smile, and looked very cute in her brand new Hello Kitty pajamas and slippers. She gave me a big kiss and told me that she had good dreams and slept in her bed all night, cuz she's a big girl. Next, we came upstairs and I made some French Toast for us for breakfast. and we sat down to watch "We Bought a Zoo". After it was over, I took a shower, and then gave Preslie a bath. She picked one of her new outfits to wear, and then got herself dressed. It was one of those parenting moments where I was so proud to see her do everything herself, including brushing her own teeth, and flossing without being told.
Next, we went to a couple of stores and then ended up going to the new Get Air Hang Time Trampoline Park in Orem, and had a great time playing together. When that was done, it was time for lunch, so we stopped by the mall and grabbed some Panda Express. Preslie ate all of her food, and even asked for water instead of root beer for her drink. I was a little surprised to be completely honest.
The weather was so nice today too. Everywhere we drove, we had the windows in my car down, and Preslie had her head by the window, and asked me to take out her pigtails so that her hair could blow in the wind. It was kind of the most adorable thing ever. She had her eyes closed, and a big smile on her face as we drove as her hair was blowing in the wind next to the window.
I asked her what she wanted to do next, and she said that we should go fly her kite, because it was a little bit windy. Previously, we did not have too much success, as our attempts to fly it were just in my apartment complex, and there just wasn't enough space. There were also too many trees and things in the way to keep the kite in the air. I asked her where we should go to fly the kite, and she quickly said "Castle Park!" which is what we call the Discovery Park over in Pleasant Grove. I told her that was a great idea, and then we headed down there. When we got there, we went out to one of the big baseball fields, and started to fly the kite. It immediately took to the air and kept a steady course there for the next half hour or so. Preslie took over controlling the kite, and could not have been more excited or happy, as it was her first time ever flying a kite. She ended up laying in the grass next to me, and just silently held onto the kite and watched it fly for a good 20 minutes or so, all the while with a big smile on her face. As we lay there watching the kite fly, I had an enormous sense of calm and feeling of content come over me. I thought to myself, "This is a happy moment."
When we decided it was time to stop flying the kite, we put it away and then played at the park for another good 1 1/2 to 2 hours. It was great. Just my little Preslie and me. We had a ton of fun. On our way home, we stopped at Supersonic and washed my car, and then she helped me vacuum it as well. Next, we came home and finished cleaning up her room, and then her Mom picked her up. The entire day was filled with smiles and laughter, and I loved every minute of it.
My day started with being woke up as Preslie crawled into my bed with her stuffed bunny. She had a big smile, and looked very cute in her brand new Hello Kitty pajamas and slippers. She gave me a big kiss and told me that she had good dreams and slept in her bed all night, cuz she's a big girl. Next, we came upstairs and I made some French Toast for us for breakfast. and we sat down to watch "We Bought a Zoo". After it was over, I took a shower, and then gave Preslie a bath. She picked one of her new outfits to wear, and then got herself dressed. It was one of those parenting moments where I was so proud to see her do everything herself, including brushing her own teeth, and flossing without being told.
Next, we went to a couple of stores and then ended up going to the new Get Air Hang Time Trampoline Park in Orem, and had a great time playing together. When that was done, it was time for lunch, so we stopped by the mall and grabbed some Panda Express. Preslie ate all of her food, and even asked for water instead of root beer for her drink. I was a little surprised to be completely honest.
The weather was so nice today too. Everywhere we drove, we had the windows in my car down, and Preslie had her head by the window, and asked me to take out her pigtails so that her hair could blow in the wind. It was kind of the most adorable thing ever. She had her eyes closed, and a big smile on her face as we drove as her hair was blowing in the wind next to the window.
I asked her what she wanted to do next, and she said that we should go fly her kite, because it was a little bit windy. Previously, we did not have too much success, as our attempts to fly it were just in my apartment complex, and there just wasn't enough space. There were also too many trees and things in the way to keep the kite in the air. I asked her where we should go to fly the kite, and she quickly said "Castle Park!" which is what we call the Discovery Park over in Pleasant Grove. I told her that was a great idea, and then we headed down there. When we got there, we went out to one of the big baseball fields, and started to fly the kite. It immediately took to the air and kept a steady course there for the next half hour or so. Preslie took over controlling the kite, and could not have been more excited or happy, as it was her first time ever flying a kite. She ended up laying in the grass next to me, and just silently held onto the kite and watched it fly for a good 20 minutes or so, all the while with a big smile on her face. As we lay there watching the kite fly, I had an enormous sense of calm and feeling of content come over me. I thought to myself, "This is a happy moment."
When we decided it was time to stop flying the kite, we put it away and then played at the park for another good 1 1/2 to 2 hours. It was great. Just my little Preslie and me. We had a ton of fun. On our way home, we stopped at Supersonic and washed my car, and then she helped me vacuum it as well. Next, we came home and finished cleaning up her room, and then her Mom picked her up. The entire day was filled with smiles and laughter, and I loved every minute of it.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Sacrifices
I'm finding out that my priorities are changing more and more as I get older. Sometimes, I look back at how I was in my past, and realize how intensely selfish I was. To be honest, I'm probably still pretty selfish. When I was married, I truly felt like I gave 100% to my family. I worked my ass off, and gave up a lot of stuff. One thing was always off limits though, and that was my guitars and music stuff.
I held onto that with some sort of strange stubborn passion. I wouldn't let my wife touch my guitars, or my kids. They were mine. They were the one thing that was off limits. They were my babies. My basses and guitars had been my passion and portal into music, creativity, and life for so many years. So many memories were associated with them. It was a part of my past that I just refused to give up. It was like they were my connection to youth. When I first separated from my Wife, I left with nothing. I suppose that isn't entirely true. I left with some clothes in my car, and my guitars. Short of my kids, who I couldn't really take with me at the time, they were the only things in the world that I cared about. Sounds pretty silly.
When I was going through the divorce, I ended up having to sell one of my basses so that I could pay off my lawyer. That was really hard for me. I hated doing it, but life happened and lawyers aren't cheap. I had to do what I had to do.
Recently, I sold my other bass. Not completely out of necessity though. I had not really touched the thing much since I had bought it back in 2008. It was a 6 string Ibanez bass, and to be quite honest, I didn't really enjoy playing it all that much. I wanted to try out playing a 6-string bass, but ended up not liking it. After planning out my budget for the summer, I decided that I would rather sell it and perhaps use the money to buy a mountain bike and kayak if I could find ones that I liked. Selling the bass wasn't hard either. I posted it on KSL.com and within 1/2 an hour, it was sold. When it came time for the guy to come pick it up, I got a little sad about it though. Not because I loved that particular bass, but because it was the last bass I owned. Watching it go out the door was like watching a part of myself die off, and then I wasn't sad anymore. I know that not too far down the road I'll be able get another one. t What was more exciting to me than getting a mountain bike or a kayak though, was having some extra cash so that I could go guy Preslie a new wardrobe. That kid keeps growing and growing, and has had a pretty big growth spurt this last year. She has seriously grown out of ALL of her clothes.
I wanted her to have nice new clothes, more than I wanted those other things. The majority of the time when Preslie is dropped off by her Mother, I've noticed that she is wearing hand me downs. Things that I remember buying her sisters years and years ago when we were still married. That isn't the worst thing in the world. I know that a lot of families simply can't afford to buy the newest or nicest clothes for their kids, and hand-me-downs are normal. For whatever reason though, this seemed important to me. My job as her parent is to make sure that she is well taken care of. I want her to have the best, and to spoil her. As long as she doesn't start acting spoiled, I think that is perfectly fine. I am certainly OK with going without certain things if it will make things better for my Daughter. Life is good, and I am thankful for the opportunity and ability to do so.
:)
I held onto that with some sort of strange stubborn passion. I wouldn't let my wife touch my guitars, or my kids. They were mine. They were the one thing that was off limits. They were my babies. My basses and guitars had been my passion and portal into music, creativity, and life for so many years. So many memories were associated with them. It was a part of my past that I just refused to give up. It was like they were my connection to youth. When I first separated from my Wife, I left with nothing. I suppose that isn't entirely true. I left with some clothes in my car, and my guitars. Short of my kids, who I couldn't really take with me at the time, they were the only things in the world that I cared about. Sounds pretty silly.
When I was going through the divorce, I ended up having to sell one of my basses so that I could pay off my lawyer. That was really hard for me. I hated doing it, but life happened and lawyers aren't cheap. I had to do what I had to do.
Recently, I sold my other bass. Not completely out of necessity though. I had not really touched the thing much since I had bought it back in 2008. It was a 6 string Ibanez bass, and to be quite honest, I didn't really enjoy playing it all that much. I wanted to try out playing a 6-string bass, but ended up not liking it. After planning out my budget for the summer, I decided that I would rather sell it and perhaps use the money to buy a mountain bike and kayak if I could find ones that I liked. Selling the bass wasn't hard either. I posted it on KSL.com and within 1/2 an hour, it was sold. When it came time for the guy to come pick it up, I got a little sad about it though. Not because I loved that particular bass, but because it was the last bass I owned. Watching it go out the door was like watching a part of myself die off, and then I wasn't sad anymore. I know that not too far down the road I'll be able get another one. t What was more exciting to me than getting a mountain bike or a kayak though, was having some extra cash so that I could go guy Preslie a new wardrobe. That kid keeps growing and growing, and has had a pretty big growth spurt this last year. She has seriously grown out of ALL of her clothes.
I wanted her to have nice new clothes, more than I wanted those other things. The majority of the time when Preslie is dropped off by her Mother, I've noticed that she is wearing hand me downs. Things that I remember buying her sisters years and years ago when we were still married. That isn't the worst thing in the world. I know that a lot of families simply can't afford to buy the newest or nicest clothes for their kids, and hand-me-downs are normal. For whatever reason though, this seemed important to me. My job as her parent is to make sure that she is well taken care of. I want her to have the best, and to spoil her. As long as she doesn't start acting spoiled, I think that is perfectly fine. I am certainly OK with going without certain things if it will make things better for my Daughter. Life is good, and I am thankful for the opportunity and ability to do so.
:)
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