Hi.

I am not the man I used to be.  I have evolved.  I have changed.  I have grown.  I feel differently about matters I used to be passionate about.  I think differently.  I feel different.  I act different.  I am different. 

I am not as generous as I used to be.  I am more guarded now in matters of love and friendship.  I used to crave love, affection, and physical contact from the ones I love.  Now, I have found that there are more important connections in a happy relationship.  Physical attraction and compatibility is important, but it is definitely not the most important thing to me. 

I used to be more consistent with my wants and desires.  Now I am fickle.  What I want seems to evolve from day to day. 

Most of my friends have been my friends for quite some time.  Some since High School, some from Junior High, and some from even before that.  Regardless of when, they are close friends and I value each and every one of them.  They are important to me, and we share experiences that are unique to and significant in my life. 

I look different.  All through High School, I weighed about 130-140 lbs.  During my marriage, I weighed between 150-170 lbs.  Now, I weigh about 205 lbs.  I'm definitely a bit softer around the middle than I'd like to be, but overall, I much prefer the way I look and feel now as opposed to before. 

I am Father.  In about a month, I will also be a Grandpa.  That is what Kalie keeps telling me anyways.  I think it's really more of an honorary position though, sort of like an "Honorary Pallbearer" at a funeral.  Odd that I used an analogy about death for that one.  Ha.

I love spending time with my Daughter more than anything else on this planet.  She is my life, my love, and easily the best thing I've ever done.  I would happily fore go any other activity to spend time with her.  If I do nothing else right in my life, I want to be the best Father to my children.  Perhaps that will be my greatest achievement in life.  I am OK with that. 

I used to hate being alone.  I pretty much always wanted to be in the company of others.  Most of the time it was my friends, sometimes it was my family, and sometimes it was my coworkers.  I have learned that sometimes I like to be alone.  I don't want to be alone all the time, or even most of the time.  But there are definitely times when I just want to come home and relax and enjoy some me time.  Does that make me selfish?  Perhaps.  My Daughter is the one person in my life that I can't get enough of.  I never feel like I need a break from her. 

I am happy.  For the first time in my life, I feel genuinely happy.  I have learned to appreciate what I do have in my life.  I don't own a business, I don't own a house, I don't own a boat, but I am OK with that.  I am in a good place in my life, and want to enjoy everything it has to offer. 

I would like to find a person that will be my partner in life.  Someone who has common interests and goals as me.  Someone who at the end of the day still wants to put up with my crap, and accept me for who I am.  I want to find someone who makes me want to be a better man.  I am OK with that.  I know I am not perfect, but I do feel like I have a lot to offer.  That said, I am not in a hurry to make this happen either.  I truly believe that it will happen when the time is right.  I saw a quote today that I really liked, although I do not know who it is from.

Realize that love is nothing action.
Trust is nothing without proof.
Regret is nothing without change. 

Despite all of these changes, I am still me.  The core of me is still the same.  My soul is still the same.  My desire to be honest, and a good man have not changed.  I don't have everything figured out just yet, but I have a better grasp on life and myself that I did before.  If life has a purpose, I would think that it is self-mastery.  I'm doing it my way, and I'm OK with that.