Balance

Today I went to work.  After work, I went to the gym for a total of 2 1/2 hours.  I didn't end up leaving the gym until just after 8:30pm.  Kind of a long time to be at the gym, right?  I kind of thought so, but still, that's what I did.  I woke up around 7am this morning, got ready for work, and left my house at about 8:45am.  I didn't get home until just after 10pm. 

If I was married and had a family still, this would simply not be possible.  There is no way I would be able to go to the gym for 2 1/2 hours right after work, and not come home until that late.  I wouldn't want to, either!  I would much rather be home and with my family.  That doesn't mean that I would never go to the gym again though.  It is very important for me to exercise, and feel healthy.  I want to feel healthy and look good too.  Not just for me, but for my spouse/girlfriend as well.  So that is the question.  How does one find balance with all these things?  Work, family, gym/exercise, just to name a few. 

I thought about this today, because I don't plan on being single forever.  I want to find my soul mate, and have a family together.  I also want to stay fit and healthy.  Ha.....or at least as healthy as I can be, that is.  One thing that I do not want to do though, is neglect my family because I'm too busy spending time in the gym, when I could be spending time with them.  In the end, what is really more important? 

The first thought that came to me, was go to the gym in the morning, before work.  I suppose that is feasible.  Then I'd have the rest of the day after work to spend with my family.  Assuming of course, that I am not too tired by then to have the energy to stay on my toes and have fun with my kids, and still be helpful to my Wife and attentive to her needs as well.  Having been married before, I know that this is often times easier said than done.  I don't want to fall into habits and routines that I can't realistically support down the road.  Currently, my logic has been that I should bust my butt so that I can really get into shape, and then it shouldn't be too hard to maintain once I get there.  Obviously, this gets increasingly harder as you get older.  Currently, I'm trying to burn a little bit of fat, and tighten things up.  Mostly my core.  One nice thing about muscle that I have discovered, is muscle memory.  It seems that initially, you have to shock your muscles, then really tear them down, and build them back up.  Even if you don't keep up the same intensity, you can usually maintain where you're at.  Even when you have to take some time off from working out.  It usually doesn't take too long to get back to where you were before. 

I am getting older too.  Sometimes, I feel a lot older than I am, but this is mostly because of experiences I've already been through.  How many 31 year old guys have a Daughter and a Grandchild?  Step Daughter or not, being called "Grandpa" will age you.  That being said, I do not want my best years to be behind me.  I want to be prepared for whatever may come.  I want to maintain good health, and keep the attraction and passion alive in my relationship.  I also want to have a good balance in life, but keep my family as my priority.  More importantly, I want my family to always know that they were my priority.

What I want in life is the same thing most men want in life.  I want to be successful and happy.  I want to be successful and happy in my marriage.  Successful and happy with my family, leading to successful and happy children.  Successful and happy with my career.  Probably in that order too. 

I feel like I'm on the right track, but I am still missing a few key ingredients.  I haven't found the right person yet.  To be honest, sometimes I wonder if I ever will.  Living in Happy Valley, Utah, doesn't always help with this, either.  Nearly everyone I know is already married, and progressing forward with their lives.  Those that aren't, seem to all be in a constant competition for the next best thing.  Constantly chasing, and being chased.  Putting on a show.  Calculating your every move.  Maybe this is what the game is now?  All I know, is that I couldn't be less interested.  All of it just seems so fake.  The majority of the girls that I have met that are my age are jaded, or otherwise full of baggage.  Perhaps they see me the same way? 

As perceptive as I'd like to pretend to be, I am not very good at reading signals.  Especially in the beginning stages of dating.  It can be pretty tough to know whether or not a girl is interested in you or not.  I'm more of the school of "When it's real, you know", but am starting to feel like I'm losing touch.  It would be kinda nice if a girl would just flat out tell me that she is interested in so many words.  Be direct.  Be honest.  Love and dating should not be a chess game.  It should come naturally.  If it doesn't, then I think you are probably wasting your time.