Why is it exactly that people get back together with their exes? Anyone got any theories on this one? I'd love to hear them. Why does it take seeing another person to realize that the person you were already with and then decided "wasn't the one" is now suddenly "the one"? Did something in particular about that person suddenly change? Even better yet, if the ex broke up with you, why would you want to go back and be with them again? To try harder to convince them otherwise? Either you or the other person made a conscious decision, and some extensive thought was put into the matter no doubt, that they or you weren't worth pursuing. Yet, after dating and spending time with someone else, your eyes have been opened suddenly to all of the amazing qualities that apparently that person had. Qualities that you either didn't take the time to notice before, or simply just did not appreciate. Does seeing another person appreciate what you didn't, suddenly change things?
There are so many possibilities with this one. Is it just easier to run back to something familiar? Something "safe"? Did spending time with this new person make you suddenly realize how insignificant the other imperfections were with the ex? Did the new person make you want to try harder to improve your own imperfections for the ex? Is the dating pool really so terrifying that you'd rather resort to settling?
Personally, I believe in a certain level of chemistry. I also understand and believe that no one is perfect. Including myself. As hard as that may be to believe. If you really have the right kind of chemistry and interests in a person, I believe that you won't give them up in the first place. And the same goes for them too. I really don't want to have to convince the person I'm with, that they should be with me. There should already be a desire there. Now, that is not to say that you shouldn't have to work at keeping a relationship alive and healthy. I just think that if the person you are with can't see you for who you really are, past all the good and the bad, and still want to fight for you, then it wasn't meant to be in the first place. As hard as that might be. Accept it and move on. I think that people know when they know. You can't really explain it. You just know. If you aren't sure, can't decide, or hesitate, then chances are that is the answer.
Yes, we all know that it hurts and sucks when you see something in someone, and they don't see the same thing in you. It's even possible to be sure that the other person is "the one", and then have them not feel the same way. Get used to it. Things don't always end happily and the way we would like them to. Hopefully. someday, we will look back on those times and think, "Thank God it didn't work out with So-and-So, because look how happy I am now!". How amazing would that be? If you haven't even met Mr. or Mrs. Right yet, and you don't know what you are missing?
If the person you were with before was willing to let you go, and not put up a fight, then are they really worth going back to? Find someone who sees you for who you are and your potential. Not just where you've been. Relationships have become too disposable. People have become too disposable. If something isn't just working out, we tend to want to pack up and leave. Walk away from it. Run away from it. There's got to be something or someone else out there better. The grass just might be greener elsewhere.
Maybe we should actually start looking at ourselves and what we have to offer first. Perhaps the question shouldn't be what we have, but what do we have to offer? Are we making every effort each and every day to make the person we are with loved? Desired? Special? If the answer is no, then you can't possibly expect those things in return. It takes work to be successful at anything in life. We reap what we sow.
Here's another thought. If you have someone in your life that you love. Fight for them. Do whatever it takes to make sure that they feel wanted, loved, desired, and special. Make the first move. Don't hesitate or hold back either. Don't be afraid to give everything you have. What have you got to lose, besides everything? Don't ever let her think that she wasn't worth the risk. Eyes wide open, and jump.
All bets are off.
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