Sleep to dream.

When was the last time you had a vivid dream?  A dream that you remembered after you woke up.  The kind of dream that you remembered days later. 

The majority of the time, I do not dream.  I imagine that I do have dreams, but nothing that I ever remember.  I typically go to sleep, then wake up in the morning, with no recollection of what occurred in between. 

So the other day, I woke up from this dream that was so realistic and vivid that it took me a little bit to figure out that I had been dreaming and was now awake.  In the dream, a couple of days had passed too.  I was waking up in the dream, and then going about my day as usual.  Only it wasn't my life.  I had a wife, who I apparently knew but did not recognize her face.  I also had 2 more kids.  Preslie was there, but she was a couple years older, and I had 2 more kids.  One was a boy who was toddler age, and the third was just a baby, but I don't remember if it was a boy or a girl.  I never quite saw that ones face.  In the dream, I had just woke up on a weekend, and had a bunch of yard work to do.  Preslie and the little Boy were helping me, while my wife was inside with the baby.  Before too long , it was getting hot, so we decided to go to the beach.  Apparently we lived by the beach. 

At the beach, my wife and I were teaching Preslie and the little Boy how to boogie board.  Everyone was having so much fun, but then I noticed it wasn't sunny anymore.  I started getting worried about how grey the sky looked, because apparently that meant a tidal wave was coming.  Then we left the beach, and Preslie was pretty sad about it, and cried the whole way home.  Since she was crying, the baby started crying.  I remember it being a really long car drive home.  Finally, we got home and it was time for bed.  I read all of the kids a bedtime story, tucked them into bed, and then snuggled with them until we all fell asleep.  For some reason, the kids all slept in one big giant bed.  I remember being really tired, but was so happy snuggling up with my kids and seeing their sweet little faces. 

Eventually, I woke up, but I was back in my bed.  It was Sunday morning, and Preslie was sprawled across my bed, snoring away.  When I first woke up, I started looking for my little Boy, and was worried that he had fallen off the side of the bed since I didn't see him.  Then I realized I had just been dreaming.  I of course was happy to see Preslie, but was a bit sad and disappointed.  It's weird how dreams can do that to you.  In a dream, you aren't just caught in the moment of what is happening right then and there.  It can almost seem that there is a back story, and a history that happened prior to that moment.  As if you've lived another life.  Kinda weird.  Makes me feel like I'm missing something.  I never imagined that I would only have one kid, or that I'd get divorced for that matter.  I always imagined I would have at least 3-4 kids of my own, and I've always kinda felt like there was supposed to be a boy in there somewhere.  Now I'm single, and Preslie is 5.  She'll be 6 years old next year.  I can't even imagine starting over.  Getting married again...having more kids, and changing diapers again seems crazy.  Perhaps I've lost my chance.   Perhaps things were supposed to be different, but choices and fate have dealt me a new hand.  I haven't decided if that is a good thing or not.  It's hard not to feel like something is missing in my life.