Stop kidding yourself.

At what point did you know that your spouse was "the one"?  Are you currently in a relationship with someone, and find yourself asking if they are the one?  If you have to ask, then perhaps you already know the answer, but don't want to accept it yet.  I think that a lot of us are so scared of the thought of being alone, that they try to stick it out with the one they are with, in hopes of a change.  Because let's face it, dating can be a scary thing.

Perhaps this is a dream come true for some of us.  If so, have at it.  I for one can't imagine meeting a girl that I'd like to spend the rest of my life with in a bar.  But then again, not all of us are really looking for someone that we can spend the rest of our lives with. 

I think that the question to ask yourself if you aren't sure about the person you are with, is a simple one.  If you broke up with that person right now, would you be upset or jealous if you saw them with someone else?  Be honest with yourself.  If the answer isn't that you couldn't bear the thought of it, then you are wasting your time, and more importantly, theirs. 

Sometimes, you can be with someone who seems perfect on the surface.  In fact, all of your friends and family might love that person and have their hopes up that you will stay with that person.  You can try the Pros and Cons exercise, and see what happens.  Perhaps the Pros will win every time.  Perhaps you won't be able to find a good enough reason to break up with that person, and end up staying with them for a long period of time.  Perhaps you've been with that person for so long, you can't imagine being with anyone else anymore.  Perhaps you just can't imagine being alone anymore.  What if this person you are with, is the best you are going to get?

If you have to ask, then perhaps you'll never know.  Personally, I don't ever want to question or doubt that I'm with the right person.  I don't want to look back on my life, and wonder what it would have been like with someone else.  I want to grow old with my sweetheart and I want her to know that if anything in life was ever certain, it is our love.  I want my kids to see the example we set, and settle for nothing less. 

So, if you are dating someone, and find yourself asking, then I say keep looking.  You will know when you know.  Don't settle for less than you deserve.  If you know what you want, then fight for it at all costs.  If the person you are with isn't willing to do the same, then perhaps you didn't ask the right questions.