Rolling with the punches.

Out of sheer boredom, I decided tonight, finally, that I would do another post.  It's been awhile since my last one, and a lot of stuff has happened.  Some good things, and then some not-so-good things.  It's been fairly eventful.

So to start off, I signed up Preslie for baseball.  I was hesitant about it for a few reasons.  For starters, I knew that it would mean that I'd have to drive all the way to Farmington a lot.  Also, I didn't really know if she'd be into it either.  I've played catch with her a little bit, but that has been the extent of her baseball experience thus far.  What if she totally sucked, and then that destroyed her confidence?  I decided in the end that it would be a good experience for her to have, so we went with it.  I played sports with the guys on my street growing up, but was never on any official teams or leagues, so I've been pretty excited to see her having this experience.  Right from the start I committed to making it to all of her games, even though it's been a little bit of a sacrifice sometimes to make it up there.  Nevertheless, she has done awesome, and I have loved every second of it!  She's taken to it like a natural too.  She is the only girl on her team, and the tallest by nearly a head.  She has also hit the ball at every game when she's gone up to bat.  I am a seriously proud Papa!

A couple of weeks ago, I took Preslie for a little weekend vacation to Idaho.  She was born in Idaho, and I wanted to show her where we used to live, and what we used to do when we lived there.  It was a really fun little trip.  We made it to Pocatello, and checked out McKee's Pet Store and the petting zoo where I used to take her sisters for walks to.  We also ate at a couple delicious local places that I used to love, and then did a little shopping.  Finally, we ended up driving to Lava Hot Springs, and stayed at this cool Bed & Breakfast place for the night.  We took a dip in a private mineral bath, then we went for a walk and played some arcade games, and finally went hunting for fireflies and fairies along the river.

Since then, I discovered that I was being audited by the Utah State Tax Commission, which was exciting.  Not really a big deal, other than an inconvenience as I had to try and dig up information and paperwork from 2008 that I no longer had.  In the end, a quick conversation with the Auditor cleared everything up, and apparently all is well again.

At the same time the audit was going on, I discovered inadvertently that my identity had been stolen too.  When I found out, I said, "Well that certainly sucks..." but then I laughed.  It has been an inconvenience, but is not devastating, as the thief didn't do too much damage thus far.  Life goes on.

Finally, there was the train incident.  I got this crazy idea that it would be fun to take the Frontrunner train up to SLC to get some pizza at Este Pizza downtown.  I talked my buddy Austin into coming, so we headed to the American Fork Frontrunner Station and hopped on the train.  We got a late start, and didn't end up getting to Este Pizza until 10:50pm.  They had stopped making pizza, so we were only able to get 1 slice of pizza each.  That was disappointing.  To make a long story short, we ended up barely missing what apparently was the last train back to Utah County at 12:07am, and then became stranded in downtown SLC.  The train station is right next to the homeless shelter, which is really not the best place to be.  Especially after midnight, as we found out.  We ended up wandering around downtown for many hours, passed the homeless shelter about 6 times, and almost got stabbed/raped a handful of times as well.  Somehow we escaped unscathed, and with our butt holes intact.  It was a bit unnerving to say the least.  We thought we were going to have to take the Amtrak train back to Provo at 3:30am, but at the last minute, our friend Kris called and came to our rescue at 3am to take us home.  There are far too many details that make this story a lot more entertaining, but alas, I will leave them out this time.  Basically, it was a really long night, and that was the worst slice of pizza I've ever had in my entire life.

What really surprises me about all of this, is that through all of the negative and adverse things that did happen, I mostly just laughed.  In the past, I probably would've stressed out and been a knot of frustration, but not this time.  I'm a lot more relaxed about life in general these days.  Life happens.  I'm choosing to enjoy my life and all the little things right now.  I have an amazing daughter, awesome family, great friends, a job I enjoy that pays my bills and keeps me comfortable, my health, a car I like, and all of my needs are taken care of.  Generally speaking, I am pretty happy these days.

:)

Movies and what they say about me...

I've been watching a lot of movies for the past couple of weeks.  I was doing good with watching less movies and staying active, until about 2 weeks ago when I apparently irritated my lower back again.  Dr.'s orders included taking a steroid regimen pack, pain killers, and muscle relaxers, and also lots of rest.  And let's not forget a hot pad.  Boy oh boy do I love hot pads.  Because of this forced relaxation and loss of activity, I have been watching a lot of movies at my place.  I've also been in a bit of a quandary recently in regards to my thoughts and emotions.  My thoughts have been all over the place, and well, my emotions, I'm just not used to having them I suppose.  :p

Rather than try and explain my emotions over the last couple of weeks, here is a list of the movies that I've chosen to watch, in no particular order.  Some several times.  Don't judge me.

Lars & The Real Girl
One Week
Amelie
500 Days of Summer
Crazy Stupid Love
Unforgiven
Lawless
Skyfall
Feris Bueller's Day Off
Couples Retreat
The Guardian
True Grit
White Irish Drinkers
A Night At the Roxbury
Failure To Launch
Raising Arizona
The Flowers of War
Safety Not Guaranteed

Also, so far dating has been kind of a headache.  I've met some really nice girls, and I've met a few slutty girls.  All in all so far, it is kind of exhausting.  With online dating, you sort of have to cast out a really big net, so to speak and then hope for the best.  Some days I'll end up talking to a whole bunch of girls, and some days perhaps one or two.  Some that I feel like I connect with on some levels, but then there just isn't a spark or any real chemistry there in person.  I find myself comparing most of these girls to a certain someone, and they just don't seem to measure up.

Unfortunately, that certain someone isn't available and I can't exactly wait around and hope for the best either.  It's time to be realistic and make myself get out there.  I keep hoping that perhaps I'll just meet someone who will be great on a whole new level and that will make me forget.  Help me forget.  Whichever way you want to look at it.  It sucks to be so completely enamored by someone and not have it reciprocated.  I think that everybody ends up loving someone at some point of their life that is just not the right person.  Or perhaps just not the right time.  I'd like to think that I'm worth wanting on some levels, even though I am far from perfect.  I have a lot to offer, and feel like I am finally ready to move on with my life.  I am ready to find someone again.  I am ready to be loved and love in return.  Hopefully she's still out there, and maybe, just maybe, there is a chance she is looking too.

To date or learn French?

So.  Dating is ridiculous.  People are so pretentious.  I recently decided to sign up on a plethora of online dating sights to give that a try.  Never done it before, and I finally just figured, "Meh.  How bad could it possibly be?"  People are so connected now, and I've heard of so many people making real and lasting connections from meeting online now.  Seriously, how bad could it possibly be?  

First off, most sights out there are not free.  I would imagine that you are more likely to find quality people using a paid site.  Kinda makes sense, right?  You know what I think about paying for an online dating site?

I'm not a total cheapskate, but I don't think I'm willing to pay these ridiculous prices to see a picture and have the right to message them directly.  Only a handful of these sites will actually let you communicate with each other for free, and are pretty limited to how much communication they will allow too.  All of that aside, however, and I am not too terribly impressed thus far.

Nearly every single profile I have read about every girl around here says about the same thing.  Here is a quick synopsis in case you were wondering....

"I am fun and love the outdoors.......blah blah blah.  I love to hike....I'm fun, I love to laugh, and stay active...blah blah blah.  I like to go out, but I also like to snuggle up on the couch and watch movies.  I'm spontaneous.  I love good food.  etc."

It is rare to find a genuine profile that actually tells me something real about any of these girls.  Who doesn't like to have fun and laugh?  Who doesn't love the outdoors around here?  Apparently if I went into the mountains, I would also find every single girl there, and she would be hiking.  And she would be loving it.

Let's talk about looks.  Why is it that nearly every girl I am seeing that is my age, looks to me more like they are in their 40's?  A lot of these women just look so old to me!  That sounds so mean, but it's true.  I don't feel old, and I definitely don't think that I look that old either.  Why do these women look so aged?  This means I am typically looking at girls anywhere from 24-36.  Those seemed like good enough numbers for me.  Looks aren't everything, but obviously it is important to be attracted to your partner.  In my opinion, there is either chemistry or there isn't.  I may not be a male stripper/model, but I don't think I'm Frankenstein either.  If I message you, a return message is nice and polite I suppose, but you're either interested or you're not.  Let's not waste each others time.  On the other hand, I was under the impression that the point of a dating site was to date.  How many people are great at advertising and marketing?  Online dating is all about selling yourself.  Am I interesting and attractive enough that you can't pass me up?  Personally, I think I am much more interesting in person.  I don't care much for texting either, as it is difficult to show sarcasm, humor, and inflection in text.  I probably come across more as a big giant jerk while in fact, I probably think I am hilarious.

Next topic, communication.  Are there some special rules about protocol for responding back to someone?  If so, somebody let me know so I can be on board.  Personally, I think it's a bit rude to just suddenly stop talking to someone and leave them hanging.  I'm a grown man, and I appreciate honesty, and direct communication.  Guys are just like that I think.  Spell it out for us, otherwise, we make assumptions.  On the other hand, let's try to have some tact people.  Do you really think that your first communication to me should be asking me why I didn't go on a mission???  I don't know, maybe it should be and I just shouldn't be offended by that.

This brings me to my next point.  I am not perfect.  I have a little bit of baggage, so to speak.   I am divorced.  I have a kid.  I'm going to be 32 this year.  I'm not a GQ model, though I do think I could have made some serious money if I would have just let that dude take the pictures of me wearing The Leatherman.  Oh well.  I also did not go on a mission......GASP!  Shocking, I know.  Mostly, I believe that I am not in the right dating pool.

Let me also stress that I am not looking for perfect either.  I don't want to marry the next girl I go out on a date with.  I want to have fun.  I want to get to know new people, and try some new things.  That isn't code for sleep around and hook up.  I understand that probably isn't the norm for most guys either, but that's where I am in life.  I want to be happy.  I'm ready for love.  I'm ready for the real thing, and I'm ready to meet the right person, whoever that may be.  Someone who will love me and appreciate me for who I am, and push me to be better.  The list goes on of course, because I have a pretty good idea at this point of what I'm looking for.  At the same time though, I want to be surprised.  I want to find the right person for me, even if she doesn't fit the mold I am used to.  Hopefully that makes sense to anyone that might be reading this.

I am old fashioned in a lot of ways, but it is nice to be chased sometimes too.  Don't leave me guessing as to whether or not you are actually interested.  If I have to guess, then I will probably assume "no" is the answer.

You know what else is awesome?  When I've met a girl already that I think is about as close to "my perfect" as I can imagine, but I know I can't have her.  Already taken.  I find myself comparing a lot of girls to her, and they don't really measure up.  Do most people do that, or am I the only one?

Online dating is full of awkward disappointments.  Seeing that someone has "viewed your profile" but didn't find you interesting enough to message you, and that sort of thing.  Much different than real life or what I've experienced thus far.  Part of me wants to keep on looking, and keep hoping that something unexpected will happen.  The other part of me just wants to forget it and just work on learning French instead.

Que faire? Que faire?

Don't wanna be a cat dude.

Everyone has heard the jokes about a Cat Lady.  You know, the lady who lives alone and has a whole mess of cats?  When I picture a cat lady, I imagine a crazy and disheveled looking older lady who wears knit sweaters, has messy hair, no make-up, and probably smells awful as well.

After a quick shoulder and legs workout at the gym tonight with Ikaika, I came home and crashed.  I was walking like Frankenstein, and could barely lift my arms (because I did so many).

In case any of you are wondering, the resemblance is pretty uncanny.

After a quick shower, I headed upstairs to make a delicious taco dinner for one, which was delicious by the way.  As I finished eating, I realized that How I Met Your Mother airs on Monday night, so I hurried and pulled up the latest episode on my laptop.  My apartment was just a little chilly, so I put on a sweater, grabbed my fuzzy blanket, and stretched out on my awesome couch so I could watch my show.  Right about then, Sassy, who is Preslie's new cat in case you were wondering, jumped up on my lap as well.  I was fairly relaxed and content, and reached over to get a nice swig of apple juice.

That was when it happened.  That was when it hit me.

I have become a cat dude.

I'm 31, and I live alone, or at least when Preslie isn't here, that is.  I am wearing a sweater, I have a beard, and I am sipping  on juice minus the gin, and I have a cat.

WTF???

I immediately became self-conscious about this, and tried to rationalize that it wasn't so bad, because I only have 1 cat.  And I'm certainly not throwing cats at my neighbors or anything like that.  I'm still cool, right?  This isn't the start of the end for me, is it?  I'm not going to be alone forever, am I?

Who am I kidding?  I didn't think that much about it or even care for that matter.  I just watched another episode of How I Met Your Mother.

Witch Hazel

First of all, let's get one thing clear.  Pay attention to your body.  When you are working out at the gym and something starts to really hurt, and your body says, "Perhaps now is a good time to stop..", then perhaps you should listen.  I have a bit of a problem with knowing when to quit.  Especially when I am working out, and am in the middle of a set.  If I set out to do 12 reps, then be damned I am going to do all 12 reps.   This is when you need to pay attention to your body and know your limits.  Take tonight for example.  I was doing a seated curl at a Hammer-Strength preacher station, and my left bicep started to hurt.  And it wasn't hurting in a good way.  I was on my third set, and on about 7 out of 12 reps when suddenly I felt something tear deep inside the bottom portion of my bicep.  Immediately I started to drop the curl bar, but then ended up squeezing just at the bottom and over-extended my bicep.  Basically, my arm bent too much at the elbow and sort of bent in the wrong direction for a brief moment.

Now hear is where my stubbornness plays in.  At this point, I had this deep tearing sensation that went down my entire bicep and into the majority of my forearm.  It hurt pretty bad, and felt even worse if I just let my arm hang at my side.  I should have stopped, and been done with it at that point.  Stubbornness prevailed, and I continued on, as I still had 2 more tricep and 1 more bicep exercise to complete.  I tried to justify continuing on by rationalizing that perhaps I just needed to stretch it out and keep it moving to keep it loose.  This was not the case.  Now it seems to hurt even worse.  Imagine that.

So what does witch hazel have to do with any of this you may ask?  I will get to that.

After leaving the gym, I was thinking that a nice hot shower with the hot water running on my arm would feel fantastic.  That's when I remembered that I needed to swing by the store to get some more soap, and perhaps some new face wash.  Adult acne decided to pay me a visit, and I have had a couple random pimples pop up this last week.  As much as I enjoy looking like I'm High School kid with a beard at 31 years old, I decided that I should get a new face wash.

I popped in to the store, and started to collect what I needed.  When I came to the skin care section, I had no idea what I should get.  I stood there like an idiot and checked out some of the different options. Finally I settled on getting an astringent of some sorts.  I had just a few options.  For who knows what reason, I ended up grabbing Witch Hazel, as it was a more or less natural astringent that claimed to not cause dryness, as well as being safe to use with all skin types.  That seemed good enough for me, so I walked back to the front of the store to check out.  Lucky enough for me, the shortest line also was occupied by a cute checkout girl.  I made the obvious choice, and strolled up to make my purchase.

Dove Men's Care Bar Soap.  Q-tips.  Witch Hazel.

Cute Checkout Girl started to ring up my stuff after giving me a brief smile, but then stopped with the Witch Hazel.  She held it for a few seconds, then started to read the bottle.  "Witch Hazel, huh?  What is this for?"  Then looked up at my face inquisitively.

"Apparently it's an astringent......for washing your face."  I replied.

Then she looked up at my face, and her eyes searched around my beard for some signs of acne.  I could feel my face turning red.

"Have you used it before?" She asked me without cracking a smile.

"Nope." I blurted out, feeling a little bit embarrassed.

"Do you think it will work?" She asked again with a concerned look now.

"I guess we'll find out.  Perhaps I'll come back next week and you can tell me if you see any improvement."  I kind of laughed after saying this, as I was being sarcastic.  I hurried and swiped my debit card, and then she smiled awkwardly and put the stupid bottle of witch hazel in the bag with the soap and Q-tips.  I gave what had to have been the most awkward smirk of a smile, and then rolled my eyes.  She laughed and then handed me my receipt and bag, and stammered out, "Well I guess I'll see you next week then.."

And smiled.

And that my friends, is exactly how you do NOT get a girls number.

The End.

So this is how I'm going to go....

This last weekend was my scheduled weekend to have Preslie.  On Thursday night, her Mom sent me a text that the storm was pretty bad up in Farmington, and she wouldn't be able to meet me like normal.  We agreed to try to meet up on Friday instead, weather permitting of course.  On Friday, I had a lot of errands to run, but luckily enough for me, I have a pretty awesome boss who was cool with me popping in and out of the office that day.  Especially since he had apparently been snowed in up in Bountiful where he lives.  He claimed that they got over 3 feet of snow overnight.

I had made an appointment to get my windshield on my car replaced by a mobile tech on Friday, but due to the sub-zero temperatures, I ended up having to bring my car in to their shop.  After getting that done, I went over to my friends shop to get my Safety and Emissions testing done, and then off to my favorite place......the DMV.  I've been to hell, I spell it.......I spell it D.M.V.  Once that was behind me, I was able to get back to work.  A few hours later I headed over to my Optometrist to get my eyes checked again, and order another pair of frames.  I updated my prescription, lenses, and got another brand new pair of Ray Ban frames for $10.  Gotta love having good insurance!

After that was done at about 5:45pm, it was time to head up to pick up Preslie.  Her Mom had texted me again to say that the were snowed in, and once again, she could not meet me.  I was not, however, going to miss my time seeing my Squeak, so I decided to just drive all the way up there to get her.

When I first got on the freeway down here in Utah Valley, it was definitely snowing, but not too bad.  The freeway was clear, and I had decent visibility.  Before too long I was behind 3 really big snow plow trucks, which were blocking all the lanes as the they drove at about 45 MPH and were spraying some sort of sand and salt mixture on the ground.  I had my windshield wipers going, and had to frequently spray fluid to clear the gunk off that continued to cover my brand new windshield.  Finally, the trucks broke formation to allow a passing land in between the two on the left, and I took the opportunity to get past them.  As I accelerated to pass them and started to come up between the two trucks and pass them, my windshield  wiper fluid froze.  It happened so quickly that I didn't really have any time to think about it either.  I was approaching the point of the mountain, and within 3-4 seconds, my windshield was completely covered in a mixture of salt, sand, snow, and ice, and I could not see a thing.  I couldn't even make out lights through my windshield.  My heart started to race, and I could feel myself starting to panic as I continued to hit the button for more fluid to come out to no avail.  As fast as I could think to do it, I rolled down both of my front windows and stuck my head out the window to try and see.  It was single digit cold, snowing pretty hard, and I was doing about 60 MPH or so with no place to pull over.  The trucks had plowed the snow off into the shoulders on both sides, only leaving the lanes to drive on.  It was in that moment that I thought, "Well........I'm certainly up shit creek now."  I couldn't slow down, as these two large snow plow trucks were right behind me, but I couldn't see anything ahead of me either.  I kind of shrugged to myself in the car and said out loud, "So this is how I'm going to go..."  My mind was still racing and I started processing the reality that Preslie wasn't going to have her Daddy anymore, and she would be sad.  Then I started to worry about how much life insurance I was going to be leaving her to take care of her and that sort of thing.  All within the span of what had to have been just 10-15 seconds at most.  Just at that moment, a semi or other sort of large truck passed me on the right side and hit some sort of wet spot which splashed a little bit onto my windshield.  Just enough that I could run the wipers and clear about a third of my window and see a bit.      And it was over.  Just like that.

I continued driving the rest of the way to Farmington, as I was able to see and enough snow had fallen by then that I was able to clear my view.  I also didn't want to stop and end up getting stuck behind those trucks again.  Passing over into Salt Lake Valley was an immediate change.  The snow was sticking on the freeway, leaving only 2 thin trails for tires in each line through the white snow.  I passed several cars who spun out directly in front of me, and also a few accidents where cars had lost control and slid into the median or other cars.  All the while, no car was doing more than 40 MPH.  As I passed  downtown Salt Lake City, the snow got heavier, and the tire trails became more faint.  I was starting to  realize that making this trip probably wasn't the best of ideas.  Nevertheless, I continued driving until I made it to the Farmington exit at Lagoon to get to Preslie's Mom's house.  I came to where the exit should be starting, but only saw snow which I had to plow through.  There really wasn't an exit.  Only snow.  By now, I had shifted into the lowest gear on my Saturn Vue, and was still barely chugging along.  Their house is right up against the Mountain, as high up on the benches as it goes.  As I pulled onto the driveway that leads up to their house, I noticed a lard mound of snow that was easily about 20 feet high, apparently the end result of plowing the driveway earlier.  The driveway leading up the hill to the house had about a foot of standing snow on it, and I could not see over the snow through my windows on each side as I drove up the hill either.  There was easily a good 4 feet of fresh snow.  I was only annoyed by this, as it proved that Preslie's Mom was telling the truth......for once.  How annoying.

I picked Preslie up, and drove back home, but we didn't get back to Orem until around 9:30pm.  The drive back wasn't nearly as bad.  Preslie held my hand and was pretty excited about all the snow, but mostly about seeing Sassy, her cat, once we got home.  When we did finally get home, I was more than ready for bed.

Strawberries.

This blog post is about what a pasty, no-tan, white guy I have become.  No joke.  I need to go tanning in a major way.  

I think what bothers me the most about it is the fact that I used to be tan.....once upon a time.  Before I moved to Utah, I spent a lot of time outside playing football and at the beach surfing and boogie-boarding.  I was your typical blue eyed, blonde haired California surfer kid.  Then I moved to Utah, and things changed.  I swear it was the Utah sun that did it to me.  Suddenly, my complexion decided that it would just take after the Irish and Danish side of my genes.  Forget the French or Indian side.  Who needs a tan?  Not this guy.  Now, I've kind of turned into a giant strawberry.  That is the only way I can describe it.  My hair has turned more of a strawberry blondish color, and my complexion is definitely that of a strawberry as well.  And let's not even talk about my beard.  It's almost completely red.  If I am in the sun, I don't tan.  I just burn, and turn a darker shade of strawberry.  Temporarily of course, and then I go back to my normal pasty and strawberry self. 

Perhaps I should get a tanning pass.  I've done that before, but don't recall having much luck.  Perhaps I should just accept my pasty skin and flaunt it.  Perhaps I should even learn to love the new nickname a couple friends have given me.  Shortcakes.  That's not so bad, is it? 

No Politics.

I have avoided saying much of anything about what happened in Connecticut a few days ago for a reason.  Everybody seems to have an opinion about it.  A lot of people just seem to want to cause contention and spark debates.  Arguments.  Hear my argument.  Shock and awe.   The more I've kept it to myself, the more it has bothered me though.  I don't think anyone on this planet can fathom the reality of what has just happened.  Perhaps only those who have just lost their children, or Sisters, Wives, and Mothers.  Perhaps those who just lost their son and Brother.  I think that this is something that everyone needs to talk about and get a grip on.  It IS reality, and this really did just happen.  People need to heal, and we all need to learn how we can help to prevent anything like this from happening ever again, because history has shown us now that it will continue.

20 sweet and innocent little children ages 6 & 7 were just murdered.  Shot.  Shot multiple times while they were at school.  This kind of thing has happened before at High Schools, on the streets, and even Jr. High Schools.  Who could have possibly predicted this?  20 small little kids and 5 of their teachers and faculty at the Elementary School, and let's not forget the killers Mother.  Little is known about Adam Lanza's motives for this heinous act.  What we do know is that apparently he had a form or Autism, was quiet and mostly kept to himself, and was a genius.  And no one ever suspected that he could be capable of such an act. 

The news of what occurred on Friday, December 14th, 2012, literally made me sick to my stomach.  I cried.  I wept when I heard and read the news of what happened that day.  I wept for the families who lost their loved ones.  I wept for the survivors.  I wept for the first responders who had to see such a horrific scene in person. 

People.  I am NOT a dude that cries.  I am, however, a Father.  My Preslie is 5 years old, and about the same age as the children who were gunned down in their classrooms.  All I could see was my sweet little Angels face as I scrolled through the pictures of the victims.  That could have just as easily been her.  Those parents and families will never see their babies grow up, or even smile again.  And they had no idea.  No idea on that morning that they were saying goodbye for the last time as they dropped them off to school.  No idea as their wives left for work that morning, that it would be the last time.  The end. 

Friday was the first time that Preslie has seen me cry.  I didn't have the heart to tell my 5 year old about the horror that had just occurred.  I don't want her to know about it.  I don't want her to be afraid, and lose her innocence. 

It has been on my mind now ever since.  What is the last thing I said to Preslie when I dropped her off?  What if that was the last time I ever saw her again?  What if something happened to her, completely out of my control, and I did not get to hug her or kiss her or be with her again?  Did I tell her that I love her enough?  Did I show her enough?  Does she know?  She is my world, and I don't think I could make it without her.  I am so deeply saddened for the parents who have lost their little Angels.  I can't imagine the heartache and pain they are feeling right now.  I just hope that they know that the world is feeling it with them right now, and that they are not alone.  If anything, this tragedy has shown that the world is not all bad.  There is good among us.  There are monsters who are capable or horrific things too, but they will never be the majority.  If anything, I have seen the world come together with love and compassion for those in need.  Not everyone, of course.  But by far the majority.  I hope that we can continue to work together and make something meaningful out of this.  Hug our children a bit tighter every day, and not forget why. 

I'm not writing this so that it can be shared and debated.  These are my thoughts and opinions.  I think everyone needs to talk about this though, and work through it.  One way or another. 

Workout. Goals. Week 1.

I've got some big goals and ambitions.  Physically, I have had a rough year or two.  I've been pretty sick a few times, had two surgeries, and hit my all time fattest as well.  The worst of it was probably the back surgery.  That one really slowed me down for a bit.  Not only did it hinder my motivation to go to the gym before the surgery, it also removed my ability to go for awhile thereafter.  Weight aside, I went through a period earlier this summer where I felt more out of shape than ever before in my life.  I had never been that soft before.  Flabby.  I didn't like it.  

After I got back from my trip to Ireland in June, I started to slowly make my way back into the gym.  It has been a pretty slow process, because I have to be very careful since the surgery on my back.  I had basically blown out my L2 disk in my lower back, and the little disk material that was left was effectively dead.  The Dr. had wanted to do a Spinal Fusion, but decided against it because I am still relatively young.  He said that eventually I will have to get that done, but they would rather not do it right now.  Because of this higher risk, I need to be especially careful with my back and avoid herniating that disk again. 

At the peak of my flabbiness, I weighted about 220 lbs.  I could barely bench 125 lbs, and had gone up to a 38" waist.  If I tried to do any cardio, I would break into a dripping sweat after about 10-15 minutes.  Gross. 

Thanks to a severely hardened sense of determination, things have changed.  I also owe a lot to a couple of my amazing friends who have helped to motivate me and joined me in the gym.  Randy and Ikaika, you guys are my boys!  Thank you!  I wouldn't go as far as to say that I am content with where I am at now, as I still have a ways to go before I reach my goals.  However, it is important to look back at the progress we make sometimes and recognize how far we've come. 

Currently,  I weigh about 205 lbs.  My last bench was 225 lbs.  I'm back down to a 34" waist.  I now include at least 30-45 minutes of cardio with each workout, and am hardly breaking a sweat anymore.  The weight isn't really important to me, because I understand that muscle weighs more than fat, so I am likely to put on a little more weight as I increase my muscle tone.  I feel good.  That is the most important part. 

My cardio health is finally doing a lot better.  My next big goal is to really strengthen my core.  This is going to be pretty tough for me.  Not only do I hate doing core work, it is also probably the hardest for me to work, because of my back.  A couple of months ago, I bought this really good Core Workout book.  Now I just need to use it.  I'd like to get my core back in shape, and finally have that 6 pack again.  My last goal is to get my bench up a little bit more.  Before I started going to school, my max bench was 310 lbs.  That seems so far off now.  I'm not sure that I'll ever quite get back to there, but I do want to get my max bench back up to at least 275 lbs.  Why?  Just because. 

So next step, how do I get there?  For the most part, I've been pretty consistent with making it to the gym 2 times a week.  I need to dial that up to 3 times a week now.  I am going to break my routines down as follows:

Day 1:   Chest & Back & Cardio
Day 2:   Cardio & Arms & Core
Day 3:   Shoulders & Legs & Core

Nutritionally, I have just a few basic goals for improvement.  First off, I need to drink less.  I have mostly cut hard liquor out completely for now.  I'm trying to drink more water every day.  I also have way too much salt in my diet, so I'm trying to cut back on that as well.  I have a daily vitamin I'm taking now, along with getting more protein in.  

I would like to reach these goals by next summer.  I know it's going to be a lot of hard work,  but I am determined.  With the early onset of the snow this weekend, I've been reminded that I'll be indoors a lot for the next 4-5 months.  I've never been a big skier, and still have never been snowboarding either.  Outside of work, you will likely find me one of 2 places.  Out and about with Preslie when I have her, or at the gym.  Tomorrow is week 1 of my new resolve and new routines.  Time to get fit.

Simple Truths

People do get lonely.  Especially when they are deprived of being with the ones they love. 

For me, this was a simple truth that took a long time to understand.  I didn't really understand this, until my Grandma passed away.  I remember so much about how she used to be.  When I was little, we would go to visit Grandma Taylor's house, and she was just so full of love.  She had an amazing way of making you feel like you were wrapped in it the moment you stepped into the room with her.  She loved all children, and was just a great Mother in every sense of the word. 

Years before she died, she had a stroke.  The stroke changed things pretty drastically.  She lost the use of one side of her body, had trouble with speech, and also getting around after that.  She had to be shuttled around in a wheelchair, and it was not easy for her to get around after that.  Over time as she got older, her physical health seemed to deteriorate bit by bit.  The hardest part for me was seeing her this way.  You could look at her, and she would make eye contact and you could tell she was still the same Grandma, but she was frustrated.  Frustrated with her body that no longer worked the way it used to, or even cooperated to perform basic tasks anymore.  Through it all, my Grandpa was there taking care of her.  He was completed devoted to her and took care of her every need.  Quite a few years passed, and then about 2 years ago she finally passed away.  I got a phone call from my Mom, who had been there taking care of her since my little Sister Angela had died in 2006, and she let me know that Grandma had just passed.  I didn't live that far away at the time, so I rushed right over there.  For some reason, I guess I didn't expect that she would still be there, and that the funeral home would have already been there.  That was my first time being around a body after someone had passed right away.  To be honest, it kinda weirded me out a bit.  Why?  I have no idea.  I sat down by her in her room and held her hand for a bit, then went out and joined my Aunt Lenore in the living room once the funeral people arrived to take her away. 

Now let me just say that even though this was an incredibly emotional and sad time for me, I am just not a cryer.  I very rarely cry for any reason.  Another one of my many oddities I suppose. 

However, as the gentlemen were starting to wheel my Grandma out of the house, I remember hearing my Grandpa say, "Wait!  I need to give my Sweetheart a kiss goodbye."  For some reason, that did it for me.  My Grandpa is one of the best men I have ever known.  Never said a single curse word his entire life.  Not even Damn.  Always treated his kids with love and my Grandma was always his Sweetheart.  I totally cried it out for that one.  He just seemed so lost after she passed.  It made so incredibly sad to see him that way.  After that I just didn't know what to do.  I started looking for things to do around the house, and ended up going on the roof to clean out his gutters.

Now here is where the simple truth comes in.  Even though my Grandma did not pass away until the summer of 2010, in a lot of ways, she had not been his companion for quite some time.  Their companionship had not been the same in the later years after her stroke.  I can only imagine how hard this must have been for both of them.  Even though he took care of her through the end, I can imagine how lonely he must have become.  Especially once she passed.  This is why it did not surprise me in the least that he "got out there" and started seeing an old girlfriend again.  He desired that companionship.  He was lonely.  I have never for a second felt that he was dishonoring my Grandma's memory in doing so either.  The sad thing is, I imagine that it did hurt a few of my other Family members feelings though.  All in all, I want my Grandpa to be happy, and understand his desire for companionship.  I understand that some people just don't get that.  Some people are die hard romantics at heart, and believe that once a loved one passes away, maybe they should live in solitude so as to honor the memory of that loved one.  I get that.  Is it easier for men to find companionship after a loved one has passed as opposed to a woman?  Perhaps.  I just know it doesn't diminish their love.  What is so strange about my 80 year old Grandpa acting like a teenager again, and wanting to cuddle up on his couch with another Grandma lady? 

After all, people do get lonely.  Especially when they are deprived of being with the ones they love. 

Sleep to dream.

When was the last time you had a vivid dream?  A dream that you remembered after you woke up.  The kind of dream that you remembered days later. 

The majority of the time, I do not dream.  I imagine that I do have dreams, but nothing that I ever remember.  I typically go to sleep, then wake up in the morning, with no recollection of what occurred in between. 

So the other day, I woke up from this dream that was so realistic and vivid that it took me a little bit to figure out that I had been dreaming and was now awake.  In the dream, a couple of days had passed too.  I was waking up in the dream, and then going about my day as usual.  Only it wasn't my life.  I had a wife, who I apparently knew but did not recognize her face.  I also had 2 more kids.  Preslie was there, but she was a couple years older, and I had 2 more kids.  One was a boy who was toddler age, and the third was just a baby, but I don't remember if it was a boy or a girl.  I never quite saw that ones face.  In the dream, I had just woke up on a weekend, and had a bunch of yard work to do.  Preslie and the little Boy were helping me, while my wife was inside with the baby.  Before too long , it was getting hot, so we decided to go to the beach.  Apparently we lived by the beach. 

At the beach, my wife and I were teaching Preslie and the little Boy how to boogie board.  Everyone was having so much fun, but then I noticed it wasn't sunny anymore.  I started getting worried about how grey the sky looked, because apparently that meant a tidal wave was coming.  Then we left the beach, and Preslie was pretty sad about it, and cried the whole way home.  Since she was crying, the baby started crying.  I remember it being a really long car drive home.  Finally, we got home and it was time for bed.  I read all of the kids a bedtime story, tucked them into bed, and then snuggled with them until we all fell asleep.  For some reason, the kids all slept in one big giant bed.  I remember being really tired, but was so happy snuggling up with my kids and seeing their sweet little faces. 

Eventually, I woke up, but I was back in my bed.  It was Sunday morning, and Preslie was sprawled across my bed, snoring away.  When I first woke up, I started looking for my little Boy, and was worried that he had fallen off the side of the bed since I didn't see him.  Then I realized I had just been dreaming.  I of course was happy to see Preslie, but was a bit sad and disappointed.  It's weird how dreams can do that to you.  In a dream, you aren't just caught in the moment of what is happening right then and there.  It can almost seem that there is a back story, and a history that happened prior to that moment.  As if you've lived another life.  Kinda weird.  Makes me feel like I'm missing something.  I never imagined that I would only have one kid, or that I'd get divorced for that matter.  I always imagined I would have at least 3-4 kids of my own, and I've always kinda felt like there was supposed to be a boy in there somewhere.  Now I'm single, and Preslie is 5.  She'll be 6 years old next year.  I can't even imagine starting over.  Getting married again...having more kids, and changing diapers again seems crazy.  Perhaps I've lost my chance.   Perhaps things were supposed to be different, but choices and fate have dealt me a new hand.  I haven't decided if that is a good thing or not.  It's hard not to feel like something is missing in my life.

Once upon a time....

Today is Burklie's 12th birthday.  Earlier I was thinking about her and wondering how she is doing.  I don't get to see her very much anymore, and it makes me sad.  I can't believe that she is 12 already.  When I first met Burklie, she was only 3 years old.  She had really short hair, and the cutest little elf ears I had ever seen.  I'll never forget her tiny little voice, and how clearly she spoke.  She was always such an intelligent girl.  Amazing at memory games too.  She could play the memory card game and would win every time.

Burklie will always hold a really special place in my heart, because she was the first of Mandie's girls that I really got attached to.  I will always love all of them, and they will each hold a unique place in my heart forever.  Burklie loved to be with me, and always wanted to be close to me.  She would ask to come with me everywhere, even just quick trips to the store.  She absolutely melted my heart.  Rylie had just turned a year old, and Kalie was 9 years old when I started dating Mandie.  Rylie was just a baby, and was always easy to love.  Kalie was more shy, quiet, and guarded.  As such, she was slower to ever really accept me into her life.  Burklie on the other hand, had nothing but love for me right from the beginning.

She is such a sensitive little girl.  Always has been.  Admittedly, I struggled at times with Burklie the most as well.  If I even looked at wrong, she would burst into tears and it would seemingly break her little heart.  As she grew older, I could see more and more similarities between her and her Mother.  I had a really hard time with this, as they weren't necessarily my favorite personality traits.  To be completely honest, she would kind of drive me nuts some times.  She was always so dramatic.  On the girls birthdays, I would get them flowers.  Burklie always enjoyed this the most.  She loved the attention.  I would also try to take all the girls on individual Daddy-Daughter dates when I could.  I usually needed to take Burklie first, because she would cry and cry if she thought she was being left out.

When Burklie turned 8 years old, we lived in Washington, and she decided that she wanted me to Baptize her.  That was an enormous honor, and it really meant a lot to me.  I was excited to be worthy, and have that opportunity.  I made sure to get her Father's permission, as I felt it was his right to do this.  He ended up doing the confirmation portion, and I did the Baptism.  The next year we moved back to Utah, and moved into my in-laws place.  That was a pretty rough year on everyone.  Mandie and I separated 2 times during that year, and eventually got divorced.  It was especially rough on all of the girls.  I had been their Dad for 6+ years, and then suddenly I wasn't anymore.  When we separated the second time, it stuck.  Eventually Mandie would file for divorce, and cut me off from the girls completely. Our divorce took close to a year, and was pretty ugly.  It was final in March of 2011.  Since then Mandie has remarried, and only occasionally now do I get to see any of the girls.  I see Preslie, obviously, as it is my legal right to do so.  But unfortunately, I do not have the legal right to my other girls.

Today Burklie is 12 years old.  She is starting to grow into a young woman.  She likes to listen to The Used and Neon Trees as well.  She likes boys.  She has grown up a lot in the past couple of years, and I haven't been there for it.  I really hate that.  I miss her and her sisters so much, and hope they all remember me and the part I shared of their lives.  I have high hopes for Burklie, and worry about her often.  I hope her memory serves her well, and that she remembers how important and loved she is.  She will always be my sweet little Bundle Face.

Don't act like you aren't impressed...

So last night I had a bit of a "double-wide" experience.  It was definitely kind of ghetto, and the more I have thought about it today, the more I feel like I should feel embarrassed.  I don't though.  I kind of think it's funny.  Maybe that is what makes me think it was a "double-wide" experience. 

After I got off work yesterday, I made a quick trip to the store.  I came home, emptied my dishwasher, then threw another load of dishes in there again.  After that, I decided I would get some work done on my blog.  It was kind of warm in my apartment so I thought, what the hell, who needs clothes?  I live alone.  My blinds are shut.  Naked Tuesday it is!  Well, just boxer briefs, because that would be weird.  I turned my TV on, at the normal volume level, and started typing away.  About an hour later, I got hungry, so I ordered some Papa Johns and had it delivered.  It was a great bachelor dinner.  Papa Johns garlic & Parmesan bread sticks, and some nice cold Blue Moons!  I was relaxed, and it was a nice and quiet night.  Or so it seemed....

Suddenly, I heard a really soft knock at my door.  I was a bit surprised, because it was pretty late.  About 11:40pm to be exact.  I think I was about 3-4 adult beverages in at that point.  I jumped up, and went downstairs to the front door.  When I opened the door, it revealed 2 Police Officers.  Dude Police Officers to be exact.  I slowly started to ask them, "Hellllllloooo, what can I do for you?" 

Police Dude #1, "We got a call that there was a party going on.  Complaint about loud music, or perhaps a TV."

Me, "Right......I don't have any music on, just my TV.  I didn't think it was too loud..."

Police Dude #2, "Yeah, we've been standing outside your apartment for about 5 minutes or so before we knocked, and couldn't hear a thing."

Me, "I haven't touched the volume since I turned it on about 3 hours ago either.  You're welcome to come in and see if it seems to loud from inside if you'd like."

Police Dude #1 looked at me a little funny, then stepped past me into the entry way.  He stood there for about 15 seconds and listened, and then said, "I can barely hear your TV at all right now.  How stupid.  Doesn't seem like a problem to me."  Then he stepped back out. 

Police Dude #2 said he needed to get some basic information from me.  He asked me if I lived here, my name, date of birth, and my phone #. 

It was right at that moment, that I realized I was standing there on my porch, wearing nothing but my underwear, probably with gross garlic / adult beverage breathe, and I was giving my phone # to this Police Dude.  I laughed, then told him my number.  He asked what was so funny, so I told him, "This would probably make a pretty good COPS episode..ha ha ha."  They kind of laughed, then told me to enjoy the rest of my night, and gave me a funny look and left. 

Good times.

Why would she do that??

Since I told the story about "Stuart's" little foot problem, I feel like I have to tell another story about him.  In case you missed my last post, "Stuart" was the special little guy that used to work on the night crew at the tool store up in SLC.  I don't remember his real name, so we're just going to call him Stuart.  Stuart was special.  He wasn't quite all there, and had obtained the job under circumstances as such that he couldn't just be fired like a normal employee either.  Stuart was brutally honest, and loved to talk.  Worse yet, he had this really high pitched, soft, child-like voice.  Surprisingly enough, Stuart was married, and he also had like 4 kids.  All of which were relatively normal.  His kids looked almost exactly like him, but were very smart and high-functioning from what I understand.

One night, Stuart came into work and was acting a little peculiar.   Normally, he was fairly social.  This evening, however, he was definitely keeping to himself, and had an odd, perhaps confused, and concerned look on his face while he worked.  Several of the other guys on the night crew approached him, and asked him how he was doing, but he didn't seem to want to talk about it.  Finally, after a couple of the guys had approached me with their concerns about him behavior, I decided that I should check on him.  I walked up to him as he was sweeping the end section of the warehouse, and asked him what was troubling him tonight. 

He replied, "Well........I had a little bit of an.........uh......episode with the wife the other day."

A few of the other guys approached, and asked the question that I really didn't want to know, "What kind of an episode Stuart?" 

Now, you have to imagine the concern on Stuart's little face as he told us his story.  He was completely serious, and genuinely confused, which only made this worse.

"Well, so my wife and I were........uh.......you know.  Having relations.  Everything was going as usual, and I was getting closer to being done.  If you know what I mean."

The guys were enjoying his story far more than they should, and egged him on.  "So that sounds cool Stuart.  What's so bad about that?"

This is where Stuart's expression became even more concerned and puzzled.  He continued, "Well, right as I was about to finish, she stuck her finger.................."

Stuart looked down ashamed at the floor.

".........right in my butt hole."

Stuart looked up from the floor with the most serious look on his face, his big goofy eyeballs focused right on me, and he stumbled, "Why would she do that?"

I completely lost it.  I was laughing so hard, I couldn't breathe.  It was terrible.  Probably one of my worst moments ever as a human being.  We told him that she probably just read about it in a magazine, and not to worry about it.  I could never look at him the same again after that.

Something's wrong with his foot.....

Today I was reminded of a specific event that happened when I used to work for a certain tool store company in Salt Lake City.  At the time I was actually living in Roy, but was helping out long term at the store location in SLC.  Occasionally, I had the distinct pleasure of managing the night crew.  Those were some good times.

There was a particularly odd fellow that worked the night crew.  He was......well he was kind of special.  Luckily, I don't remember his name, so we'll just call him Stuart.  Now the thing about Stuart, is that he was a really little guy.  If you didn't know better, you'd swear that he was a dwarf, but he wasn't quite there.  He wasn't quite there in more ways than one.  He had dark hair, was kind of portly, had really thick glasses that made his eyeballs look huge, and he had really stubby fingers.  For some reason, his stubby little fingers always caught my attention, probably because he swung his arms in a quick, straight, jerking motion as he walked.  I'll probably go to hell for laughing as I'm writing this story, but....I can't help it.

So Stuart had a special job at the tool store, and that was basically walking around and sweeping the store and the warehouse.  He always had a lot to say, and was really animated about his stories every night.  He really was quite entertaining.  One day, we realized Stuart wasn't there, and the next night he came in wearing this odd cast and walked with a short and stubby little limp.  Being a concerned manager, I asked him what had happened to his foot.  This is what he told me.

"Seems that I caught me a nasty little infection on my foot.  My foot was itching real bad, and had a bit of a rash, so I went to the Doctor to get it checked out.  Turns out that I got it from my shower."

I was a little confused, so I asked him, "Do you have a fungus or something in your shower?"

 This is where he explained that sometimes, when he is showering, and he has to go, he just does.  Only he wasn't talking about the occasional tinkle.  He was talking Numero Dos.  The big number two.  He would just take a dump, and then stomp it down the drain with his foot.  Turns out that isn't the best idea, as he got some crazy infection in his foot from it.  Who would have imagined that? 

I was horrified.  True story.

Prayer and faith.

I would really love to rant and complain right now about a few things, but I won't.  I don't think that anyone wants to listen to someone bitch and moan about how hard their life is.  Who's life isn't hard?  Who doesn't struggle, or experience hard times?  Who hasn't been down in the dumps occasionally?  Each of us experience things from a completely unique perspective, as no two peoples lives are identical.  I laugh whenever I hear someone say, "I know exactly what you're going through.."  How could you?  No, really?  You've been through everything that I've been through, and had every single experience as me?  That is just plain stupid.

One of my friends recently asked for her friends to pray for her father who isn't doing too well.  It seems that he is on his way out, and she asked if anyone could pray for him and her family to find comfort during this hard time.  I can only imagine how hard this must be for her and her family, and quickly volunteered to keep them in my prayers.

What prayers?

I honestly cannot even remember the last time that I prayed.  I stopped praying sometime during my divorce.  I didn't really feel like God was listening.  That being said, how can I really say that I will pray for someone else, when I don't really do it for myself anymore?  When I'm not convinced it will do any good?  Is it pride that has kept me from doing so?  Is it just plain old stubbornness?  I guess it depends on who you ask.  If you ask my parents, they will say a little of both.

Something that I have always struggled with is faith.  In matters of the church, I have always struggled with tithing.  It is a really hard thing for me to have to ask anyone else for help.  I don't want to "have faith" that things will work out.  I want to know.  I want to be sure.  I need to be able to count on things happening.  Reliability, security, facts, routine.  These are things that I understand and prefer.  I understand that some people need hope to get by.  I need to know things will work out because I worked to make it happen.  Again, some of these things may come down to pride.  Another example, is having my back get better and not give me grief.  Praying for this to happen is not something that I am good at.  Exercising, avoiding things that will strain it, and a hot pad on occasion are my tools for making that happen.  I don't want to just close my eyes, and hope that it will get better.  I want to exercise and work to strengthen my back so that I don't have more problems in the future.

I am not saying this to diminish anyone else that may rely on prayer.  And I am especially not saying this to belittle my friend who asked this recently.  I think my point is more that I wish there was something more that I could do to help.  I would do just about anything for my friends and family, even pray for them if asked.  I don't understand why anyone should have to suffer, especially in their later years.  It is such a strain on the family and loved ones who are forced to watch the people they love most deteriorate.  What does this accomplish?  What does this help us learn?  These are questions that I struggle with.  While I haven't had to experience this too directly with my parents, or my children, I have had to watch other family members deteriorate slowly over time, and it sucks.  As much as I loved them, I wanted to get away from them.  I didn't want to watch them suffer.  I suppose that in that way I truly let them down, and worse yet, when they may have needed me around the most.  I have a great deal of respect for people who take on this great responsibility.  This is one of the many reasons why I respect this friend so much.

Nevertheless, I found myself actually getting down on my knees to pray this weekend.  It was not an easy thing for me to do, but I made a gave my word.  I've made a lot of promises over the years.   Some are harder to keep than others.  Some promises you make are actually broken by those closest to you.  I am definitely far from perfect, but I am trying to improve and better myself.  I get knocked down, but I get up again.

Denied.

Access denied.  You shall not pass.  This is not the droid you were looking for.  April Fools.  Psych!  Return to sender.  No such address. 

abjure, abnegate, ban, begrudge, call on, contradict, contravene, controvert, curb, disacknowledge, disallow, disavow, disbelieve, discard, disclaim, discredit, disown, disprove, doubt, enjoin from, eschew, exclude, forbid, forgo, forsake, gainsay, hold back, keep back, negate, negative, not buy, nullify, oppose, rebuff, rebut, recant, refuse, refute, reject, repudiate, restrain, revoke, sacrifice, say no to, spurn, taboo, take exception to, turn down, turn thumbs down, veto, withhold.

How did this happen?

It seems that I've stirred the pot.  An interest of sorts has developed in a most unexpected way.  The kind of interest that you find yourself looking forward to throughout the day.  Where even a simple text can make you smile.  I kind of feel like I'm in High School all over again, but in the good way.  If there is such a thing.  At this point, it is nothing more than a friendship.  Innocent.  And I'm OK with that.  Let it be what it is. 

There are unique complications.  Despite any of it, I am having fun.  I don't think that I am the only one, either. 

Open your eyes and see.

Recently, I've been reminded again about the importance of appreciating what I have.  I have been given a lot, and therefor have a lot of reason to be grateful.  I am finding a lot of reasons to be happy, and it's important to recognize that.  So many of us get caught up in a struggle with the big picture, and our long term goals and wants, that we forget the everyday things we have.  It's easy to get stuck in a rut, and forget about the good and positive things in our lives.  I really do think there is something to be said about recognizing what we do have, as opposed to just what we don't have. 

I am healthy, and currently on the road to getting into the best physical shape of my life.  I feel great, and that is huge.  I have a beautiful, smart, and healthy Daughter, who I believe could not be any closer to perfection.  I could not ask for a better child than Preslie.  She makes me smile every single day.  I have a great job, and genuinely feel appreciated.  I have enough money to take care of my needs, my Daughters needs, and also enjoy life and have a good time when I want.  In addition, my family is healthy and I have a good relationship with them as well.  They may not all be as close as I would like, but I am still able to communicate with them often.  My parents especially, are very loving, despite my shortcomings and abilities to live up to their expectations.  I have a car that I love, for the first time.  I also have a decent Townhouse, that keeps me comfortable all year round.  I also have full health insurance, which is a big deal.  You don't realize what a convenience that is, until you need it and you don't have it.  I live in a nice area.  There are mountains, rivers, and beauty all around me.  Lots of room to go camping, kayaking, hiking, and just about anything else I want.  I also have some of the best friends I could ever ask for.  Not just one, or two, or three either.  I have so many friends that I truly consider family, and have always been there for me.  I also live in a free country, where all of these things are possible.  These are just a few of the bigger picture things, which are easy to be grateful for.

Some of the daily things that I am grateful for include apple juice, Doritos, Nachos, and other yummy food I like to eat.  I also am grateful for a nice cold adult beverage when I desire it.  Sometimes, it's just a nice summer drive with the windows down at night.  I am definitely grateful for my 60" TV with surround sound, and my awesome giant and comfy down filled couch.  Sometimes, I am grateful for not being retarded or totally fugly.  Well, not completely that is.  I'm also grateful to have a cool boss who doesn't try to make me work a million hours a week.  Even though I am on salary, my boss has never asked me to work more than 40 hours a week.  How awesome is that?  Pretty awesome for sure.  Sometimes, I am grateful to have a gym membership, with so many different facilities to go to when I want.  I am also very grateful for music.  Whether it is listening to songs in my car, on my computer at work, on my iPhone while I workout, or just at home, I am almost always listening.  There are quite a few things I am grateful for every day, but those a few that come to mind. 

If you aren't doing this already, I would highly recommend it.  Taking a little bit of time out of your day to recognize what you are grateful for will improve your attitude, and ultimately, the overall quality of your life as well.  You only life your life once, so enjoy while you still can.  You never know when things will change and you may lose those opportunities.  What you have today, may be gone tomorrow. 

A day of fun.

Today was a day of fun.  I woke up feeling refreshed, having got a better nights sleep than the night before.  Made breakfast for Preslie and I, and then got ourselves showered and ready to head out.  First off, we had to go return our crappy rental car to Enterprise, and pick up my car again.  Larry H Miller Collision was so generous when they booked my rental, I was lucky enough to get a Toyota Yaris.  This car was smaller than the car I drove around in Ireland, and that's saying something.  Not amused.

Preslie, as usual, has been cracking me up all day long.  When we first arrived at Enterprise to return the Yaris, there was a few people there, so we went to sit down while we waited to catch a ride over to get my car.  I sat down in the chair, and then Preslie climbed up on my lap.  As she scooted over on my leg, the chair let out this funny squeek sound.  Preslie looked up at me with this embarrassed and annoyed face, and said, "Dad.  Are you serious?"  Apparently she thought the sound came from my butt, and was not amused.  ha ha ha

Next, we headed over to Seven Peaks, and played our guts out for almost 6 hours.  It was tons of fun.  Expensive, but fun.  One particularly annoying thing that happened though, was I had bought lunch for us, including 2 sodas for Preslie and I.  After eating, we left the nearly full drinks by our towels and stuff, then went to ride a slide really quick.  We came back about 20 minutes later, and I discovered my drink was lidless, and empty.  It was upright, and had not spilled either.  Someone had taken the lid off my soda and drank all of my Dr. Pepper!  What a jerk. 

When we left, I had a call from Preslie's Mom, saying she was school shopping for all the girls, and wanted me to meet them at the mall to give her money.  When we met up, she told me that her Mom was having a little family get together, and I should come and bring Preslie.  Hmm.  Well, let's just say that was the proposed alternative to what was suggested.  I ended up heading over there with Preslie, and for the first time in a while, was able to see all of the girls.  It was really nice.  I also got to see some of the ex-in-laws I haven't seen for awhile, who were surprisingly polite for the most part.  We ate dinner there, and then left around 8pm so we could make it to Provo to see Joel Pack & the Pops play a show at Velour.  It was nice to see Joel, Ryan, and Rob again. 

All in all, it has been an eventful day, and lots of fun was had.  Preslie is asleep, and now I think I shall do the same.